How to convince Fiance that snuff isn't so bad...

[sagedil]

Oh I did find out another thing this evening. It is that 'magical' time of the month which unfortunately for me, pretty much coincided with my first order of snuff and the breaking of the news. ops:

OMG, well then you are just a bloomin idiot who deserves EVERYTHING she gave you.

You really are just not so bright. :wink:

[JPono]

Out of curiosity LaZer, how old is your girlfriend? Has she been married or in a successful relationship before? And what about you?

[LaZeR]

Oh I did find out another thing this evening. It is that 'magical' time of the month which unfortunately for me, pretty much coincided with my first order of snuff and the breaking of the news. ops:

OMG, well then you are just a bloomin idiot who deserves EVERYTHING she gave you.

You really are just not so bright. :wink:

Lol! No seriously though her attitude towards my tobacco has been consistently negative to the max, it has just been on red alert these past several days.

Damn, don't blame me. SHe has those "irregular" cycles or whatever. I sure as hell can't keep track of them. :?

[LaZeR]

Out of curiosity LaZer, how old is your girlfriend? Has she been married or in a successful relationship before? And what about you?

I'm turning 43 in December. Was married once prior for 25 years - recently divorced.

She is 40 and has been married twice before and engaged once before.

[JPono]

I'm turning 43 in December. Was married once prior for 25 years - recently divorced.

She is 40 and has been married twice before and engaged once before.

Got it. Thanks!
I think it's easy for all of us to comment here, but to be fair, we're only hearing your side of the story. I'm absolutely not trying to imply that you're lying or misleading anyone in any way whatsoever. That said, we don't hear her voice at all or opinion--just your impression of what she thinks.

Yeah, I don't really have a point. :?

I really hope both of you work this all out. I'm not sure I've ever been in your position before and hope I never am. Sounds difficult. If you love each other and there is respect between the two of you, I'm sure this will be a walk in the park!

[texasmade]

if she likes cinnamon you should put some snuff into the cinnamon container..... :twisted:


or ask her if she would rather you do coke

[LaZeR]

or ask her if she would rather you do coke

Funny you should say that. Her 13 year old daughter asked me what I would do when the police see my sniffing my snuff and try to arrest me.

I said I would sue them for false arrest and boy did this get me in hot water with the Mrs. saying I was misleading her daughter into not respecting the police. wtf, I lose every battle with these tobacco issues. :lol:

if she likes cinnamon you should put some snuff into the cinnamon container..... :twisted:

I guarantee you if I could get her to do a toot of this Dholakia Swiss Chocolate, I would have me a snuffin partner.

I think it's easy for all of us to comment here, but to be fair, we're only hearing your side of the story.

Very true, however if you look at the context of my posts, my problem with her demands comes down to the "all or nothing attitude" as far as doing tobacco or not rather than appreciating harm reduction with no reasoning whatsoever with where I'm at with this.

[texasmade]

most police are dicks (there are very few i respect)

no offense but your fiance sounds like a crazy bitch but then that may be due to her special friend thats visiting.


you should tell her you'll stop snuffing and snusing when she stops having her friend over and never thinks about nicotine or tobacco ever again..

[Veganpunk]

Damn, don't blame me. SHe has those "irregular" cycles or whatever. I sure as hell can't keep track of them. :?

Dude, you ALWAYS keep track. For multiple reasons!

[LaZeR]

Damn, don't blame me. SHe has those "irregular" cycles or whatever. I sure as hell can't keep track of them. :?

Dude, you ALWAYS keep track. For multiple reasons!

They don't make the right kind of calender in my case.

[adm]

Wow. It sounds like you need to grow a pair my friend......

You need to go about this with a multi stranded strategy:

1) Educate her to the harm reduction issues. Every time she gives you shit about it, put a medical paper in front of her and ask her to read it. Make sure she understands quite how less harmful snus is.

2) Play on her guilt. Bring up the issue about reformed smokers being the worst. Talk about how her deep seated desire for nicotine is causing her to behave irrationaly in her behaviour towards you. She's got an "If I can't have it, then he definitely can't have it either" mentality. Tell her that while "cold turkey" may have worked for her giving up smoking, it has definitely given her an irrational opinion of how it works for everyone.

3) Just tell her "NO". If she really loves you then she shouldn't be making such demands. Explain that as your snus and snuff use doesn't actually affect her, it's not a fair thing to make any kind of ultimatum over. You are an adult, as is she - try and have her understand that this kind of behaviour is childish and mature adults make compromises.

But......don't do any of the above a "that time" of month as she won't be at all rational. The best plan for that time of month is to buy her chocolate, cuddle her and tell her how much you love and appreciate her. Then sneak off somewhere to get your fix....

[Ainkor]

I actually got to put in a portion tonight whilst sitting with her on the couch watching a movie. I asked for her approval first.

First, a few qualifiers:

I have been married for almost 19 years. 19 happy years, with 3 children (all teenagers) who all give me a kiss and a hug before they go to bed every night and who I get along great with.

Second, I use tobacco.

Third, if you don't want to get pissed, don't read this.

----------------------(Rant below this line, proceed at your own caution)-------

















WHAT THE **** IS THAT?

Dude, that is the stupidest thing I have ever read any person write. You have to ask permission to use something that you enjoy and harms NO-ONE else, possibly even yourself?

I would never expect that sort of behavior from anyone in regards to another person.

Love is NOT absolutely giving away of our most human rights. next thing it will be you can't eat this, or can't eat that, quickly moving on to only missionary style etc etc.

Now for some man stuff:

No women respects a man-pussy. Women respect men who can stand up for themselves, who are tender, loving, respectful, strong mentally and physically and men who are intelligent, based on my experience.

I am in no way saying be an ass and tell her to shove up her gravity defying dominating snatch, but if you did that, I would buy you a beer.

Treat her with love and respect, but respect doesn't mean that you let another person control you.

This goes for the ladies too. Be your own women. Never put yourself in a position where you can't be yourself.

If your misses really loves you, she will accept you for who you are, not try and change you. it just won't work and you will be miserable in life.

Now go take your damn two non-sterk portions and go sit in the corner like a good little boy.

On the other hand, if she if filthy rich and a perfect 10 super model, kiss her ass and do what she says.

[adm]

No women respects a man-pussy.

Quote of the week! :lol:

[LaZeR]

No women respects a man-pussy.

I heard that I did however you and I both know there is a fine line sometimes as to whether a man screws up the other way and they use that beast as a weapon against us.

[Ainkor]

No women respects a man-pussy.

I heard that I did however you and I both know there is a fine line sometimes as to whether a man screws up the other way and they use that beast as a weapon against us.

Yeah yeah what ever. Look man, I am not afraid of my wife using anything I have done as a weapon against me because I don't do bad things to her. I'd like to think I treat her like a queen, but there is a line that you can't cross.

Have I screwed up? Of course I have, but we have a relationship built on mutual respect and a good sense of morals and ethics. My wife is my best friend. I'd rather be with her than anyone else on earth. She loves me for who I am and I love her for who she is, all our faults included.

I'd question your perception of what love is any exactly why you are with her. There is a person out there who will treat you the way a person deserves to be treated.

I'm not advocating leaving her, going to counseling or anything like that. I am asking you to stand up, in a respectful way and say this is who I am, either love it or leave it.

If you can't do that, leave your man card.