Just venting...

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  • muddyfunkstar
    Member
    • Aug 2010
    • 967

    #46
    My best friend is an alcoholic. He's one of these guys who's the life and soul, everyone who meets him loves him because he's really good fun. Up until recently he never really got into trouble because of it - a few scrapes and indiscretions here and there but nothing serious - but in the last year he's started to go off the rails. He got laid off at work where he managed to get away with drinking on the job because he was alone in an office all day. The next job he got he wasn't so lucky, and he got sacked for sneaky drinking at work. Since then he's started his own business working from home, but that just gives him more time to drink. He's also on high-dose antidepressants and tranqs, as well, which I don't think mix well with the booze.

    A few weeks ago he got into a road rage incident, and punched someone a few times and has since been charged with assault. Not long after that he got into an argument with some builders near his house because he reversed into their van, and after he drove off they called the police who picked him up and he failed a breath test, and has now lost his driving licence and has a drunk driving charge to go with the assault one.

    Oh, and his wife is pregnant and due in February. I'm properly worried about him at the moment, and have tried talking to him, but he just does the usual denial stuff - telling me that once the baby arrives he'll calm down, that he knows he drinks too much but doesn't want to stop "because the time isn't right". It's difficult because we live a long way from each other, different parts of the country, so all talking is on email or by phone. He's got other good friends locally, but I'm not sure how much use they're being.

    I'm going to visit in the new year and hopefully try to talk some sense into him, but the problem is that until he's ready to admit he needs to stop drinking, hassling about it will just drive him away.

    Sorry for the outpouring, not really spoken to anyone impartial about it, and it's good to get it off my chest!

    Comment

    • devilock76
      Member
      • Aug 2010
      • 1737

      #47
      Originally posted by muddyfunkstar View Post
      My best friend is an alcoholic. He's one of these guys who's the life and soul, everyone who meets him loves him because he's really good fun. Up until recently he never really got into trouble because of it - a few scrapes and indiscretions here and there but nothing serious - but in the last year he's started to go off the rails. He got laid off at work where he managed to get away with drinking on the job because he was alone in an office all day. The next job he got he wasn't so lucky, and he got sacked for sneaky drinking at work. Since then he's started his own business working from home, but that just gives him more time to drink. He's also on high-dose antidepressants and tranqs, as well, which I don't think mix well with the booze.

      A few weeks ago he got into a road rage incident, and punched someone a few times and has since been charged with assault. Not long after that he got into an argument with some builders near his house because he reversed into their van, and after he drove off they called the police who picked him up and he failed a breath test, and has now lost his driving licence and has a drunk driving charge to go with the assault one.

      Oh, and his wife is pregnant and due in February. I'm properly worried about him at the moment, and have tried talking to him, but he just does the usual denial stuff - telling me that once the baby arrives he'll calm down, that he knows he drinks too much but doesn't want to stop "because the time isn't right". It's difficult because we live a long way from each other, different parts of the country, so all talking is on email or by phone. He's got other good friends locally, but I'm not sure how much use they're being.

      I'm going to visit in the new year and hopefully try to talk some sense into him, but the problem is that until he's ready to admit he needs to stop drinking, hassling about it will just drive him away.

      Sorry for the outpouring, not really spoken to anyone impartial about it, and it's good to get it off my chest!
      Good luck, some people need to ride the downward spiral all the way to the bottom before they change their ways, and sometimes even losing everything isn't enough. Often those that would let it go that far there is nothing you can do but watch and that is very frustrating.

      Ken

      Comment

      • precious007
        Banned Users
        • Sep 2010
        • 5885

        #48
        Originally posted by Bigblue1 View Post
        Precious you say some of the least fact based things on this site I've encountered. Hep C is an infectious disease caused by a virus and spread by blood to blood contact. It most certainly is not caused by drinking.
        Hepatitis is caused by drinking...
        Wasn't sure if it's C ...

        This is what I've meant...

        Alcoholic hepatitis is characterized by a variable constellation of symptoms, which may include feeling unwell, enlargement of the liver, development of fluid in the abdomen (ascites), and modest elevation of liver enzyme levels (as determined by liver function tests). Alcoholic hepatitis can vary from mild with only liver enzyme elevation to severe liver inflammation with development of jaundice, prolonged prothrombin time, and even liver failure. Severe cases are characterized by either obtundation (dulled consciousness) or the combination of elevated bilirubin levels and prolonged prothrombin time; the mortality rate in both severe categories is 50% within 30 days of onset.

        Alcoholic hepatitis is distinct from cirrhosis caused by long-term alcohol consumption. Alcoholic hepatitis can occur in patients with chronic alcoholic liver disease and alcoholic cirrhosis.

        Comment

        • f. bandersnatch
          Member
          • Mar 2010
          • 725

          #49
          Originally posted by Condor View Post
          Party liquor's all I drink.
          I hope this is a squidbillies reference.

          And I always encourage people in their efforts to ditch the booze. I think its a great idea. And not just because that leaves more booze for me.

          Comment

          • lxskllr
            Member
            • Sep 2007
            • 13435

            #50
            Originally posted by danielan View Post
            I thought you had a kid?

            At least with mine; they're happy with whatever...

            Wii = "Cool!" - Play with it for 2 days then ignore it
            iPod Touch = "Cool!" - Play with it for 2 days then ignore it
            Cardboard Box = "Wow! Thanks! I can slide down the stairs on this! I can make it into a fort! Look at this sword I made! etc." - Play with it for 2 weeks until it is reduced to a brown papery pulp.

            I ought to just "buy" them some boxes for Christmas this year and take all the other stuff back.
            My reaction was because the toys were shittier than shitty, and they could have gotten something nice if their parents weren't insistent on drinking the most expensive beer AB makes. If they had started drinking Natty Boh(really not a bad beer compared to the typical mass produced fare) in September, they'd have had a nice chunk of change for a couple cool presents. Get one nice gift, and then bulk up the haul with a few choice dollar store toys. As a bonus, They'd probably have enough left over for a decent beer to celebrate xmas with.

            I have a girl. My mother had to give me money this year to buy her presents :rolls eyes:

            Comment

            • sgreger1
              Member
              • Mar 2009
              • 9451

              #51
              Originally posted by lxskllr View Post
              I have a girl. My mother had to give me money this year to buy her presents :rolls eyes:

              *EDITED OUT*


              How old is your girl anyways, child, teen, or adult?

              Comment

              • lxskllr
                Member
                • Sep 2007
                • 13435

                #52
                Originally posted by sgreger1 View Post
                How old is your girl anyways, child, teen, or adult?
                She's 12. I would mention what I got her, but she knows about this forum, and I wouldn't want it popping up. Santa is actually getting most of her gifts. She'll just get a couple token presents from me since I'm so short on money. That's usually how it works anyway. The stuff I get her is worth $20 tops. Santa brings the good stuff :^)

                Comment

                • Mr. Snuffleupagus
                  Member
                  • Dec 2008
                  • 2781

                  #53
                  I'm an alcoholic not in denial about it, but I'm down to 6-ish newcastles and a shot of jager a day. I only drink after work and don't drink and drive. I don't freebase cocaine anymore and I quit smoking so I don't feel like it's the end of the world yet

                  Comment

                  • f. bandersnatch
                    Member
                    • Mar 2010
                    • 725

                    #54
                    Well snuffles, at least you have a healthy outlook. I had a friend back when that got the gout and he claimed it was from holding to a diet consisting mainly of dark beer and red meat. I always wondered what the hell he was talking about. I am a big fan of moderation myself, except for when it comes to tobacco, I use as ****ing much of that shit as I ****ing can. Oh, and directly after I take my third drink. Moderation usually slips away at that point too.

                    Comment

                    • Darwin
                      Member
                      • Mar 2010
                      • 1372

                      #55
                      Your friend was right Herr D. Gout is indeed an affliction engendered by such an old fashioned veggie and fiber free diet. In Victorian England it was a disease of the rich who could afford meat, butter, sauces, etc. and so that's what they, men mostly, would eat. A sunny beach to treat as well, even now, although it's a lot rarer than it used to be for obvious reasons. As an extra added attraction Victorian gentlemen were lucky to make #2 once a week. In case you already knew all that, which seems likely, never mind.

                      Comment

                      • dreed2
                        Member
                        • Jul 2010
                        • 256

                        #56
                        Originally posted by Mykislt View Post
                        it's interesting how many threads turn into dick size contests
                        That's a guy thing...

                        Comment

                        • dreed2
                          Member
                          • Jul 2010
                          • 256

                          #57
                          Originally posted by Mr. Snuffleupagus View Post
                          I'm an alcoholic not in denial about it, but I'm down to 6-ish newcastles and a shot of jager a day. I only drink after work and don't drink and drive. I don't freebase cocaine anymore and I quit smoking so I don't feel like it's the end of the world yet
                          You don't have a drinking problem as long it isn't affecting your life adversely, or affecting anyone else's life adversely. You only drink after work and you don't drink and drive. What's to worry about? I drink Michelob Ultra, which is a lot like water, after work. Does that make me an alcoholic? I don't think so, but some people would. I love Newcastle, but I'm on a diet so that's only for special occasions. I don't smoke pot or cigarettes anymore, either, but I love Ettan portions and Thunder minis. OK, so we aren't perfect, but who is?

                          Edit: I used to be a supervisor in charge of 45 staff, and there were two serious alcoholics under my direct supervision. All that I asked of them was to NOT bring their booze into the building. That wasn't good enough for them. I found them hiding their booze in their lockers. I told them to keep it outside of the building or else I'd call security to search their lockers. My car got egged and my tires got slashed, but I wouldn't back down. Finally, they started keeping their booze in their cars and going outside to drink. Got me off the hook with my supervisors and allowed them to keep their jobs. Not that they DESERVED to keep their jobs, especially after what they did to my beloved 1968 VW bug (which only cost me $350), but they had families to support and they were just doing the best they could do to support their families. We're all in this together. United we stand, divided we fall.

                          Comment

                          • f. bandersnatch
                            Member
                            • Mar 2010
                            • 725

                            #58
                            People fall united also, actually in a much grander fashion than those divided.

                            I will be here all week providing little snippets of sunshine such as this, as long as I remain sober.

                            And Darwin, as far as my previous knowledge of the gout is concerned, I did feign a slight ignorance there. I was given the most basic outline of the ailment after I was almost diagnosed with it a couple of years ago. I had a serious affliction of some kind set on my knee, and the doctor, in his infinite wisdom, decided that it was probably the gout and didn't really bother to ask about any previous tractor-trailer related mishaps. Thankfully though, I can still count myself amongst occupants of this century.

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