Myths and facts of your country's population

[LincolnSnuff]

You know you're from Minnesota when:

You measure distance in minutes.

Weather is 80% of your conversation.

“Down south” to you means Iowa.

Snow tires came standard on your car.

You have no concept of public transportation.

75% of your graduating high school class went to the University of Minnesota.

You know more than 1 person that has hit a deer.

People from other states love to hear you say words with O’s in them.

You know what and where Dinkytown is.

You have no problem saying or spelling Minneapolis.

You hate “Fargo” but realize that a lot of your family has that accent.

You get mad at people who think Fargo is in Minnesota.

Your school classes have been canceled because of snow or cold.

You know what “Mille Lacs” is, and how to spell it.

You assume when you say “The Cities,” people know to what you are referring.

You know what the numbers 694, 494, I-94, 394 mean.

You have tried boiled fish in lye at Christmas.

You know the 2 sports-related reasons why we hate Dallas.

Nothing gets you madder than seeing a Green Bay sticker on a MN car.

You know what “uff-da” means and how
to use it properly.

You can spot the three-second cameo appearance by “The Artist formerly known as Prince” in Fargo.

You’re a loyal Target shopper.

You’ve licked frozen metal.

The only reason you go to Wisconsin is to get fireworks or to fish or to buy beer on Sunday.

You own an ice house, a snowmobile, and a 4 wheel drive vehicle.

You wear shorts when it’s 50 degrees outside in March, but bundle up and complain in August when it goes below 60.

You know people that have more fishing poles than teeth.

It feels like the Mississippi is everywhere you go.

You have gone Trick-or-Treating in 3 feet of snow.

You know what the word SPAM stands for (in more ways than one).

You carry jumper cables in your car.

You drink POP, not SODA.

In a conversation you heard someone say “yah, sure, you betcha” and you didn’t laugh.

Everyone you know has an “A-frame” cabin next to one of the 10,000 lakes.

You know that Lake Wobegon isn’t real and you know who made it up.

Voted for a pro wrestler for governor…..and he won.

You remember when it was so cold at International Falls, that the thermometer went NINE FEET UNDERGROUND.

Merchants slip Canadian coins into the change they hand you, so THEY don’t have to mess with them.

[Hanske]

Well, uff-da is Norwegian As you know there are lots of Norwegian-americans in Minnesota, and I just read that minneapolis' mayor has a Norwegian name.

[LincolnSnuff]

Yes Hanske, Minnesota is greatly influenced by both Norwegian and Swedish traditions. Most of us have had the (mis)pleasure of indulging in lutefisk at some point. I am 1/8 Norwegian and 1/8 Swedish myself (my great-grandparents were immigrants).

Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak:



While I'm not a fan of his politics, he has done a good job with some of the issues facing the larger of the "Twin Cities."

[Hanske]

I've never had lutefisk, and it's a myth that it's so popular here. I believe more is consumed in minnesota per year than in Norway for ten years... Rybak is the Norwegian name.

[snusgetter]

…you like to wrap your hotdog in a cold pancake.

Is that a euphemism?

And then you get to "kram" it... you betcha!!

[Hanske]

Is that a euphemism?

Lol. It is called a lompe. It's made from potatos. If anyone know what a lefse is, you know what a lompe is.


Another Norwegian fact: You know what yrkesskadeerstatning is, and spelling and pronouncing it is no problem.

[sgreger1]

People actually grow, eat, and like okra.

God I hate this so much. When I lived out there i was like "WTF IS THIS SHIT, deep fried okra and grits porridge crap for breakfast, THIS is what you people eat? No wonder the south lost the war, eating a breakfast like that...

[Westgothia]

Sweet Home Alabama!!!!

-You have a party or a barbeque whenever Alabama plays Auburn in football.

-You go to Gulf Shores every summer.

-You call the Atlanta Braves baseball team “us” like they’re actually from Alabama.

-You have family who would much rather visit Florida than California.

-You don’t “take”, you “carry” or “tote”… as in “You want me to carry you down to the 7-11?”

-A soft drink isn’t soda, cola, or pop, it’s Coke.

-You call it a “buggy” and not a shopping cart.

-You’ve said “fixin’ to,” “might could,” or “usetacould” during the last week.

-Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.

-You can properly pronounce Arab, Eufaula, Opelika, Loachapoka, Bayou La Batre, and Oneonta.

-You know exactly what chitlins and mountain oysters are, and though you may not, you know someone who eats them anyway.

-You think that people who complain about the heat and humidity in other states are sissies.

-You aren’t surprised to find rental movies, groceries, ammunition and bait all in the same store.

-Asian food is always “CHINESE” regardless of the fact that it may actually be Korean or Japanese or Thai.

-People actually grow, eat, and like okra.

-Mamanem means the whole family. (“Are mamanem comin?”)

-You measure distance in minutes or hours.

-You’ve ever had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.

-You know what “cow tipping” is.

-You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still
summer, and Christmas.

-You know whether another Alabamian is from east, west, or middle Alabama as soon as they open their mouth.

-Visiting Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime.

-You know the difference between redneck, hillbilly, and southerner.

-You think everybody from the north has an accent.

-Y’all is a word.

-There is no such thing as tea.. it’s sweet tea.

-If a single snowflake falls, the town is paralyzed for three days, and it’s on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a week. All grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer. If there is a remote chance of snow, and if it does snow, people will be on the corner selling “I survived the blizzard” tee-shirts, not to mention the fact that all schools will close at the slightest possible chance of snow.

-Your directions include “when you see the Waffle House” or “turn on the dirt road.”

-You say “sir” and “ma’am” if there’s even a chance someone is even thiry seconds older than you and it is just the polite thing to do.

-The falling of one rain drop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules; so will daylight savings time, a girl applying eye shadow in the next car, or a flat tire three lanes over.

-There is nothing but country, gospel, or classic rock on the radio.

-A tornado warning siren or sever thunder storm is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.

-Almost everyone you know is Baptist or Methodist.

-A Mercedes Benz isn’t a status symbol. A Chevy Silverado Extended Bed Crew Cab is.

-You know everything goes better with Ranch dressing, especially hot wings.

-You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply or in my case even read, write or spell.

-Krispy Kreme doughnuts are the only doughnuts that exist.

-You know at least one Bubba, and maybe a few guys named Bo.

-You don’t assume the car with the blinker light on is actually going to turn anytime in the near future.

lol that was funny as hell

That y'all saying reminds me of a joke i read somewhere.

About the difference of telling a story in the north and south US.
The northern goes: Once upon a time..
The southern goes: Y'all aint gonna believe this shit!..

[spirit72]

As a native and lifelong Ohioan, I can affirm all of this.

How to be an Ohioan
--------------------------

After several decades of living in Ohio, I know how to be an Ohioan. While I was learning, written guidelines would have been helpful. So I've written some to assist others

1. Know the state casserole. The State casserole consists of canned green beans, Campbell's cream of mushroom soup and dried onions. You can safely take this casserole to any social event and know that you will be accepted. In fact, Neil Armstrong almost took this casserole to the moon in case he encountered alien life there. NASA nixed the plan out of concern that the casserole would overburden the Apollo rocket at liftoff.

2. Get used to food festivals. The Ohio General Assembly, in an effort to grow bigger offensive linemen, passed legislation years ago requiring every community to have at least one festival per year dedicated to a food. Thus, Sugarcreek honors Swiss cheese, Troy delights in strawberries, Bucyrus has a bratwurst celebration and Gahanna, seeking an advantage over other towns, has recently introduced the Triglyceride and high-density Lipoprotein Festival. It is your duty as an Ohioan to attend at least one of these festivals and at least buy an elephant ear.

3. Know the geography....Of Florida, I mean. I've run into Ohioans who couldn't tell you where Toledo is but they know the exact distance from Fort Myers to Bonita Springs. That's because all Ohioans go to Florida in the winter. Or plan to when they retire. Or are related to retired Ohioans who have a place in Sarasota. We consider Florida to be the Lower Peninsula of Ohio.

4. If you can't afford to spend the winter in Florida, use the state excuse, which is that you stay here because you like the change of seasons. You'll be lying, but that's OK. We've all done it.

5. Speaking of Ohio weather, wear layers or die. The thing to remember about Ohio seasons is that they can occur at anytime. We have spring-like days in January and wintry weekends in October. April is capable of providing a sampling of all four seasons in a single 24-hour period. For these reasons, Ohio is the Layering Capital of the World. Even layering, however, can pose danger...Golfers have been known to dress for hypothermia and end up dead of heat stroke because they couldn't strip off their layers of plaid fast enough on a changeable spring morning.

6. Don't take Ohio place names literally. Upper Sandusky is below regular Sandusky. Circleville is square. East Liverpool has no counterpart to the west. Also, if a town has the same name as a foreign capital... Lima or Berlin or Louisville, for example......you must not pronounce it that way lest you come under suspicion as a spy. Hence, it's not LEE-ma as in Peru, but LYE-ma as in bean, and it's BER-lin, not Ber-LIN, like in Germany. Louisville in Ohio is pronounced Looisville, not Looeyville as in Kentucky.

7. Become mulch literate. Ohioans love mulch and appreciate its subtle differences. Learn the difference between hardwood, cypress and pine bark at a minimum. Researchers think the state affinity with mulch derives from its relatively flat terrain. People have a subconscious need for topography, and when it can't be supplied naturally, they are more likely to make little mulch hillocks in their front yards.

8. In order to talk sports with obsessive fans in Ohio, you have to be knowledgeable on three levels -- professional, college and high school. The truly expert Ohio sports fan knows not only the name of the hotshot quarterback at Abercrombie Fitch High School, but also what college he's interested in, how much he bench-presses, who he took to the prom and what he got on his biology quiz last week.

9. Remember that Ohioans are never the first to embrace trends. When we do embrace them, we do so with a Midwestern pragmatism. For example, if you see an Ohioan with a nose ring, there's a good chance he's had it undercoated to guard against rust.

10. The best way to sell something in Ohio is to attach the term "Amish" to it. The product need not be genuinely Amish. This would explain the existence of Amish moo shu pork.


I hope you found this guide to be useful. If it offends you, please let me know and I will bring green bean casserole to your home to make amends.

[snusjus]

3. Know the geography....Of Florida, I mean. I've run into Ohioans who couldn't tell you where Toledo is but they know the exact distance from Fort Myers to Bonita Springs. That's because all Ohioans go to Florida in the winter. Or plan to when they retire. Or are related to retired Ohioans who have a place in Sarasota. We consider Florida to be the Lower Peninsula of Ohio.

8. In order to talk sports with obsessive fans in Ohio, you have to be knowledgeable on three levels -- professional, college and high school. The truly expert Ohio sports fan knows not only the name of the hotshot quarterback at Abercrombie Fitch High School, but also what college he's interested in, how much he bench-presses, who he took to the prom and what he got on his biology quiz last week.

These aspects of Ohio bother me to the point of anger. I have only lived in Ohio for five years, but I am already growing sick of it. First off: I hate Florida with a passion, since there is nothing appealing about suffocating humidity. Second, I have zero interest in sports. I feel like I'm an outsider in the Midwest.

I need to move back to the West coast...

EDIT: I have nothing against people from Ohio, Florida, or the Midwest personally. I just can't adapt to the geographical climate!

[Tianlong]

I'd like you to post some funny myths and facts of your country's population in this thread. I found this in a Norwegian blog, and most of them are true

..you start believing that if it wasn’t for Norway’s efforts the world would collapse.

…you only buy your own drink at the bar even when you are with a group of people.

…you can’t remember when to say “please” and “excuse me”.

…you always prepare to catch the closing door if following closely behind somebody.

…a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
a) he is drunk
b) insane
c) American
d) all of the above

…you don’t think silence is awkward.

…you use “Mhmmm” as conversation filler.

…you actually believe that there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.

…you know Norway’s results in the last three years in the “Melodi Grand Prix” song contest (Eurovision Song Contest).

…you believe that having no choice of products in a supermarket makes it easier to shop.

…it seems nice to spend a week in a small wooden cottage up in the mountains, with no running water and no electricity.

…you know at least five different words for describing different kinds of snow.

…an outside temperature of 9 degrees Celsius ( 45F ) is mild in mid June.

…you know the difference between Blue and Red ski wax.

…you have only two facial expressions; smiling or blank.

…you don’t fall over when walking on ice.

…you associate Friday afternoon with a trip to Vinmonopolet.

…you think nothing of paying $50 for a bottle of ‘cheap’ spirits at Vinmonopolet.

…it’s acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00 and dinner at 15.00.

…it no longer seems excessive to spend $100 on drinks one night.

…you know that “religious holiday” means “let’s get pissed”.

…you find yourself more interested in the alcohol content than in the name of the wine.

…you enjoy the taste of lutefisk and cod prepared in any way, including fried cod tongues.

…you like to wrap your hotdog in a cold pancake.

…you associate warm rice porridge with Saturday and Xmas-eve.

…you can prepare fish in five different ways without cooking it.

…you wear sandals with socks.

…your wardrobe no longer has suits, but blue shirts and mustard coloured sportjackets.

…it feels natural to wear sport clothes and backpack everywhere, including the cinema, bowling alley, and to church.

…you find yourself speaking halfway Swedish with Swedes.

…you can’t understand why foreigners haven’t heard about Bjorn Daehlie.

…you don’t question the habit of always making “matpakke”

…you know the meaning of life has something to do with the word “koselig” (cosy)

…you get scared when a stranger randomly starts up a conversation with you

…you can’t stand leaving the country because people everywhere else are so nice, it’s annoying.

…you look away when you walk by people on the street.

…you vigorously defend whaling and enjoy consuming whale meat.

…you have two cars, a cabin and a boat, if not more.

…you think it’s weird if a house isn’t wooden.

…you earn more than you spend.

…you associate Easter with cross-country skiing with friends and family in the familys mountain cabin.

…you are shocked if it’s not 2 months of snow every year, at least!

…you can see mountains and the ocean, no matter where you are.

…you expect all dinner parties and meetings to start precisely on time, if not before.

…you fall 3 meters, and don’t get hurt. If you do, you’re not worried at all.

…you get your hands on Norwegian chocolate and guard it with your life

…you are more afraid of the Customs than terrorists.

…you would rather miss your flight than not have enough time to buy the duty free alcohol quota.

…you order drinks at Gardemonen (Oslo Intl Airport) at 6 am

……you say ”oh well, down it goes” when served bad wine.

…you actually think that fishballs have taste.

…you barbecue when it’s raining.

…you have bad conscience if you’re not outside when it’s sunny

…you get dozy after only two days of sun

…you go for a swim when it’s only 12 degrees Celsius (53F) in the water and claims that it’s “fresh”

…in winter, you go to work or school in the dark and come home in the dark – while only working eight-hour days.

…if there’s a terrorist attack on the other side of the world, your first reaction is “oh my god, did any Norwegians get hurt?”

Sweden is the same

[ratcheer]

How do you earn more than you spend if you spend $100 a night on drinks?

Tim

[Hanske]

How do you earn more than you spend if you spend $100 a night on drinks?

Tim

Because the averahe american salaryis under our poorness limit

[Hanske]

Haha, I laughed when I saw a Danish documentary last night. First of all, Danes don't speek English. Or they do, but it sounds like they have a potato stuck in their throats. It's a common Norwegian joke, that if you put a potato as far back in your mouth as you can get it, and starts speeking Norwegian, you'll sound like a Dane. You see, the words and spelling is pretty much the same, but the pronounciations are very different. Many "language scientists" are discussing wether Norwegian and Danish are two languages or one language with two dialects. Or more, there are hundreds of different dialects in Norway...

But here's what I wanted to tell about them. I watched that documentary, and they were going to drive five metric miles. They heard it and went like "oh, god, that's gonna take ages". It took 35 minutes. As Denmark is a little country I've heard it before when I was there. I told them that I could drive from Oslo to Kristiansand, which takes 4,5 hrs, without a break, and I they were shocked One guy said he couldn't have done it without I night in a motel...

[toddzilla]

As a native and lifelong Ohioan, I can affirm all of this.

How to be an Ohioan
--------------------------

After several decades of living in Ohio, I know how to be an Ohioan. While I was learning, written guidelines would have been helpful. So I've written some to assist others

1. Know the state casserole. The State casserole consists of canned green beans, Campbell's cream of mushroom soup and dried onions. You can safely take this casserole to any social event and know that you will be accepted. In fact, Neil Armstrong almost took this casserole to the moon in case he encountered alien life there. NASA nixed the plan out of concern that the casserole would overburden the Apollo rocket at liftoff.

2. Get used to food festivals. The Ohio General Assembly, in an effort to grow bigger offensive linemen, passed legislation years ago requiring every community to have at least one festival per year dedicated to a food. Thus, Sugarcreek honors Swiss cheese, Troy delights in strawberries, Bucyrus has a bratwurst celebration and Gahanna, seeking an advantage over other towns, has recently introduced the Triglyceride and high-density Lipoprotein Festival. It is your duty as an Ohioan to attend at least one of these festivals and at least buy an elephant ear.

3. Know the geography....Of Florida, I mean. I've run into Ohioans who couldn't tell you where Toledo is but they know the exact distance from Fort Myers to Bonita Springs. That's because all Ohioans go to Florida in the winter. Or plan to when they retire. Or are related to retired Ohioans who have a place in Sarasota. We consider Florida to be the Lower Peninsula of Ohio.

4. If you can't afford to spend the winter in Florida, use the state excuse, which is that you stay here because you like the change of seasons. You'll be lying, but that's OK. We've all done it.

5. Speaking of Ohio weather, wear layers or die. The thing to remember about Ohio seasons is that they can occur at anytime. We have spring-like days in January and wintry weekends in October. April is capable of providing a sampling of all four seasons in a single 24-hour period. For these reasons, Ohio is the Layering Capital of the World. Even layering, however, can pose danger...Golfers have been known to dress for hypothermia and end up dead of heat stroke because they couldn't strip off their layers of plaid fast enough on a changeable spring morning.

6. Don't take Ohio place names literally. Upper Sandusky is below regular Sandusky. Circleville is square. East Liverpool has no counterpart to the west. Also, if a town has the same name as a foreign capital... Lima or Berlin or Louisville, for example......you must not pronounce it that way lest you come under suspicion as a spy. Hence, it's not LEE-ma as in Peru, but LYE-ma as in bean, and it's BER-lin, not Ber-LIN, like in Germany. Louisville in Ohio is pronounced Looisville, not Looeyville as in Kentucky.

7. Become mulch literate. Ohioans love mulch and appreciate its subtle differences. Learn the difference between hardwood, cypress and pine bark at a minimum. Researchers think the state affinity with mulch derives from its relatively flat terrain. People have a subconscious need for topography, and when it can't be supplied naturally, they are more likely to make little mulch hillocks in their front yards.

8. In order to talk sports with obsessive fans in Ohio, you have to be knowledgeable on three levels -- professional, college and high school. The truly expert Ohio sports fan knows not only the name of the hotshot quarterback at Abercrombie Fitch High School, but also what college he's interested in, how much he bench-presses, who he took to the prom and what he got on his biology quiz last week.

9. Remember that Ohioans are never the first to embrace trends. When we do embrace them, we do so with a Midwestern pragmatism. For example, if you see an Ohioan with a nose ring, there's a good chance he's had it undercoated to guard against rust.

10. The best way to sell something in Ohio is to attach the term "Amish" to it. The product need not be genuinely Amish. This would explain the existence of Amish moo shu pork.


I hope you found this guide to be useful. If it offends you, please let me know and I will bring green bean casserole to your home to make amends.

haha wow this is all so true!!

I might add a few interesting laws

1. It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.

2. Breast feeding is not allowed in public.

3. It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house.

3. Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.

4. It is illegal to get a fish drunk.

5. It is illegal to mistreat anything of great importance.

6. No one may be arrested on Sunday or on the Fourth of July. (damn I am going to have to start taking advantage of this one )