a man bought a old pub, on his first day he went to open the doors for the lunchtime session and waiting on the doorstep were 2 elderly men obviously locals.
they both touched their caps and said "mornin" and followed the new owner inside and up to the bar.
" two halves of mild please" said one of the men " with pleasure " replied their new landlord.
"wheres the snuff ?? " asked the other man whilst looking along the bar, "snuff ?" responded the landlord.
"the last landlord used to leave snuff on the bar in a big red saucer for us pensioners" the man said " and you'll find we may not buy alot , but we're here every lunchtime and evein 365 days a year!".
"well" replied the landlord " i didn't know about the snuff sorry, its my first day - i'm happy to provide snuff for you as the last landlord did so there will be some on the bar tonight"
later at 5 o'clock as the landlord was getting ready for the evening opening he glanced through one of the windows and saw one of the old men talking to another elderly man obviously waiting for the pub to open.
oh no the landlord thought i've forgot the snuff !!.
he looked about in the back room of the pub and found the big red saucer which he placed on the bar, then he went hunting for some snuff in the cupboards but to no avail.
he remembered that in the back yard there was a small brick store room full of boxes so he went to have a look in it but no luck!, on his way back across the yard he kicked at a old dry piece of dog shit that collaped into dust , all of a sudden a idea entered his head and back to the bar he went and collected the red saucer then he returned to the yard where he picked up the remaining dog shit and finely crumbled it onto the saucer.
he then re-entered the pub again and placed the red saucer back on the bar then washed his hands and went to open the doors for the evening.
the first old man entered and saw snuff in the red saucer and helped himself to a large pinch and then sniffed "can you smell dog shit ?" he asked the landlord, the landlord mumbled a negative response.
the second old man who had been hanging up his coat walked over and also used the snuff " theres a smell of dog shit around here" he exclaimed the landlord again mumbled he couldn't smell anything!
just then a third elderly man entered the bar "jack" the first old man called "come over here can you smell dog shit ?" the first old man asked him " because i can old tom can but the landlord can't".
jack sniffed deeply twice " can't smell a thing" he said " but wait a minute" he then took 2 big pinches of snuff from the red saucer and sniffed the air again " ah yes i smell it now, thats great snuff it really clears your nose !!".
they both touched their caps and said "mornin" and followed the new owner inside and up to the bar.
" two halves of mild please" said one of the men " with pleasure " replied their new landlord.
"wheres the snuff ?? " asked the other man whilst looking along the bar, "snuff ?" responded the landlord.
"the last landlord used to leave snuff on the bar in a big red saucer for us pensioners" the man said " and you'll find we may not buy alot , but we're here every lunchtime and evein 365 days a year!".
"well" replied the landlord " i didn't know about the snuff sorry, its my first day - i'm happy to provide snuff for you as the last landlord did so there will be some on the bar tonight"
later at 5 o'clock as the landlord was getting ready for the evening opening he glanced through one of the windows and saw one of the old men talking to another elderly man obviously waiting for the pub to open.
oh no the landlord thought i've forgot the snuff !!.
he looked about in the back room of the pub and found the big red saucer which he placed on the bar, then he went hunting for some snuff in the cupboards but to no avail.
he remembered that in the back yard there was a small brick store room full of boxes so he went to have a look in it but no luck!, on his way back across the yard he kicked at a old dry piece of dog shit that collaped into dust , all of a sudden a idea entered his head and back to the bar he went and collected the red saucer then he returned to the yard where he picked up the remaining dog shit and finely crumbled it onto the saucer.
he then re-entered the pub again and placed the red saucer back on the bar then washed his hands and went to open the doors for the evening.
the first old man entered and saw snuff in the red saucer and helped himself to a large pinch and then sniffed "can you smell dog shit ?" he asked the landlord, the landlord mumbled a negative response.
the second old man who had been hanging up his coat walked over and also used the snuff " theres a smell of dog shit around here" he exclaimed the landlord again mumbled he couldn't smell anything!
just then a third elderly man entered the bar "jack" the first old man called "come over here can you smell dog shit ?" the first old man asked him " because i can old tom can but the landlord can't".
jack sniffed deeply twice " can't smell a thing" he said " but wait a minute" he then took 2 big pinches of snuff from the red saucer and sniffed the air again " ah yes i smell it now, thats great snuff it really clears your nose !!".
Comment