Formal Appology

[Grim]

Hi guys, I know some of you may not know me as it was back in 2008 that I became a member.

This forum was much smaller then and everyone seemed to have a close bond and most discussions were civil and very well answered.

I know with this forum getting bigger that most any question regarding snus has been answerd and that occasionally we will step on each others toes.

But back in 2010 I started losing touch with reality and just looking for attention and fighting inner demons.

I began drinking heavily and there wasnt a day that went by that I wasnt drunk. I fight constantly with anxiety and panic disorders and for me getting completely plastered to the point of passing out was the only way I could sleep. I had frequent trips to the ER and so on for anxiety and panic and just wasnt comfortable.

There were several times I lost my cool on here, mainly due to the creature, and I would simply bash anyone and everyone who opposed my thoughts, especially back when this forum changed to what it is now.

I feel I owe it to everyone who may have seen some of my drunken rantings to say I am sorry. I know this is only a forum and so on but I genuinely feel regardless that people should be treated with respect and in that way we can all remain civil in our beliefs and opinoins.

I just want you all to know that I love this forum, I love the people here and the sense of community that comes with being a snus afficianado.

So I hope everyone will accept this appology and I am happy to let you all know that I am in a better place right now in life and that although I face anxiety and panic disorder everyday, I no longer rely on a bottle to cure it.

I look foward in reinstating myself in good standing with you all.

So from the bottom of my snus filled heart I am sorry for all of you I crossed the wrong way. This is in no way me trying to gain attention or fulfill some kind of self satisfaction. This is just me trying to make right all that which I have done wrong.

[Roo]

Welcome back Grim! I don't remember personally seeing any of the negative posts you mention. I remember back in the day we had an argument about Cuban tobacco I believe... but it was civil. I don't remember the premise Good to see you posting again.

[Bigblue1]

Nuff said. And congrats on making peace with yourself cuz truthfully that's all that matters. If you woulda just stuck around a few years ago you would have realized that the most of us are either really forgiving or insane. One way or the other we all seem to get it together in the long run, No matter how authoritarian some people can be..... That reminds me Sgreger come back. This place is not what it was without you.....

[GoVegan]

Welcome back. Not sure what happened but you haven't lived until you have been banned by PP at least once.

[Snusdog]

Welcome back. Not sure what happened but you haven't lived until you have been banned by PP at least once.

Grim....bro....I'm glad you are back up and posting......hope you will be around for quite a while

[Premium Parrots]

Grim and I are on great terms. The day he came back he was a man and PMd me to apologize for his ways. I went to back to see his last posts and saw why he left in the first place. I respect him because he now realizes what his problem was, he fixed it and came back. He knew what he did wasn't right and fessed up. Thats alot more than most people would do.

I was surprized that he made this formal thread about it. IMO it wasn't that big of a deal. Ya have to respect a man that will admit when he was wrong. Unlike one or 2 current members here that have acted wrongly and never fessed up. So I'm cool with Grim.

[Grim]

Hey guys and it's great to be back, and thanks PP.

I just posted this because in all honesty I can't remember everyone I may have offended. I know sometimes people can read a thread and in Passing get caught up in it. I'd hate to be the guy most people associate with as being a complete ass.

I look forward to being more active on here and it's good to see this forum is still doing well.

[devilock76]

If it is any condolence, I found in time after I quit drinking I was able to go completely without my Xanax prescription. I found that change occurred within about the 6 month to a year range. It has been 4 now.

Ken

[Grim]

I feel that the main cause of main anxiety is alcohol, and I mean the excessive amounts I drank. I looked oline awhile back and saw that one of the side effects of alcoholism is anxiety and depression and everything that comes with those two.

My problem was I used it to combat those things, which I guess made everything worse.

The issue I have with everything is once I like something I do it in extremes and excess. I have always been that way whether it is trying to be the best at all I do or if its proving who can drink the most. I got good at the game of drink.

Oh well, only time will tell if and how well I can recover, because living life uncomfortable can be depressing in itself.

Another thing, I find that because Im not that old, 28, that most doctors just seem to pass off my questions as being purely anxiety/panic instead of looking for any other underlying issues, and ive always been honest with my doctors yet everyone of them seems to just say that im too young for heart issues and other problems. I have insurance and have told them I wanted them to look more into it, one time they did and the results were all negative, but it seems every year it kept gettign worse and worse. And let me tell you that the sexual side effects from anti depressants and other stuff that comes with taking them are far worse than any benefit I received from them.

[devilock76]

I feel that the main cause of main anxiety is alcohol, and I mean the excessive amounts I drank. I looked oline awhile back and saw that one of the side effects of alcoholism is anxiety and depression and everything that comes with those two.

My problem was I used it to combat those things, which I guess made everything worse.

The issue I have with everything is once I like something I do it in extremes and excess. I have always been that way whether it is trying to be the best at all I do or if its proving who can drink the most. I got good at the game of drink.

Oh well, only time will tell if and how well I can recover, because living life uncomfortable can be depressing in itself.

Another thing, I find that because Im not that old, 28, that most doctors just seem to pass off my questions as being purely anxiety/panic instead of looking for any other underlying issues, and ive always been honest with my doctors yet everyone of them seems to just say that im too young for heart issues and other problems. I have insurance and have told them I wanted them to look more into it, one time they did and the results were all negative, but it seems every year it kept gettign worse and worse. And let me tell you that the sexual side effects from anti depressants and other stuff that comes with taking them are far worse than any benefit I received from them.

What results were all negative? Seriously there is no such thing as "too young" for heart issues, especially if you have a family history of heart disease. Due to a dilligent Dr. I discovered I had a bicuspid aortic valve in my 20's. Most people find out about it in their 50's when they black out and collapse from Aortic Stenosis or rupture. If they are lucky they make it through the emergency valve replacement surgery alive. Because I found out then it can be monitored and there is less chance I will be surprised by the onset of such a catastrophic failure there. I may still need a valve replacement one day, but hopefully it won't be an emergency surgery.

Get an echo cardiogram. Your primary care doctor should be able to recommend it. If anything to eliminate the possibilities. If he/she won't maybe you should consider changing Doctors...

Ken

[Grim]

I've had an EKG which was negative and one more that I can't remember. I know I have not had an ultra sound of my heart done.

It's funny u mention family history because that's what worries me. My dad has suffered heart failure, my uncle on his side of the family had a heart attack, as did my grandfather (dads side) and both great grand fathers.

I've been to 2 different practitioners and the ER both of which just said I was too young for heart problems.