Kitchen Nightmares - Crazy Amy's Baking Company

[CzechCzar]

Part One - The Backstory

So, this is a long-running obsession of mine, that I have to share with you. It will start off simply enough - with an episode of kitchen nightmares. It will get somewhat more convoluted, though...

[Burnsey]

Ramsey displayed more patience than she deserved.

[CzechCzar]

Part Two- The Implosion

http://gawker.com/nightmare-restaura...-out-505815263

Basically, Amy and Sammy are completely incapable of receiving constructive (or any?) criticism, and lash out at bad reviews on their facebook and yelp pages. This just attracts the trolls, who only serve to further enrage the angry beast that is Amy.

[CzechCzar]

Part Three - The Reaction

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/...tire-internet/

When teh interwebz started to take note of the batshit crazy things that Amy and Sammy were saying, they adopted a new strategy, and claimed, that's right, that they were hacked.

Quoting at length:

If you haven’t been in the nooks and corners of the Web where this has been bouncing around, you are missing out. It’s brilliant and unhinged, in the way all things that go truly viral are. First, the “Kitchen Nightmares” episode itself, which features the classic lines from Amy, “We have three little boys but they’re trapped inside cat bodies. They’re cats.” It shows the owners taking the waiters’ tips, berating the customers and insisting that they do not know the kind of food they want, firing the waitstaff, shouting at Gordon Ramsey and completely refusing to accept any criticism of any kind.

Then, if viewers had any nagging fear that this insanity was staged for the cameras, the Facebook page of Amy’s Baking Company lit up with insults, as co-owners Amy and Samy inveighed against all the Web sites where the “online bullies” had given them negative reviews. Most of them are unprintable, but some highlights include: “To all of the Yelpers and Reddits: Bring it on … Come to arizona. you are weaker than my wife, and weaker than me. come to my business. say it to my face. man to man. my wife is a jewel in the desert. you are just trash. reddits and yelpers just working together to bring us down. pathetic.”

“I AM NOT STUPID ALL OF YOU ARE. YOU JUST DO NOT KNOW GOOD FOOD. IT IS NOT UNCOMMON TO RESELL THINGS WALMART DOES NOT MAKE THEIR ELECTRONICS OR TOYS SO LAY OFF!!!!”

As a general rule, if you are the one typing in all caps insisting that everyone else is wrong, they are not wrong.

The couple has been doing this for some time, but suddenly they announced that “Obviously our Facebook, YELP, Twitter and Website have been hacked. We are working with the local authorities as well as the FBI computer crimes unit to ensure this does not happen again. We did not post those horrible things. Thank You Amy&Samy.”

If so, this hacker has an awful lot of spare time and an uncanny ear for dialogue.

The Amy & Samy story is essentially a master-class in How To Lose An Argument on the Internet. The basic steps, for anyone curious:

TYPE IN ALL CAPS
Explain that God is on your side.
Call the other person a rude four-letter, three-letter, five-letter, six-letter, ten-letter, or twelve-letter name.
Explain that you are right because the other person is an idiot, while misspelling something.
USE ERRATIC PUNCTUATION OR GRAMMAR WHILE CALLING THE OTHER PERSON STUPID ALSO DO THIS IN ALL CAPS.
Describe your cats as “little boys in cat bodies” or “little people in cat suits” or “children, but actually cats, but really children” or “non-human children.”
Refuse to stop arguing.
When the backlash starts, insist that you were hacked.

They manage to do all of these, in some cases in a single post. They do everything short of comparing someone to Hitler.
Naturally, this has been blowing up online. To call this kicking the hornet’s nest would be an understatement. They poked and poked and poked the hornet’s nest while making disparaging remarks about the hornets’ mothers. No wonder there’s a swarm.

Folks, it’s not the Internet. It’s you.

[devilock76]

I thought this had reached the "old news" point...

Ken

[CzechCzar]

NOT FOR ALL OF US

[devilock76]

NOT FOR ALL OF US

Welcome to deez here internet tubie wubie thingies. It moves fast around here, try to keep up...

Ken

[Burnsey]

The underlying theme: “I AM NOT STUPID ALL OF YOU ARE. YOU JUST DO NOT KNOW GOOD FOOD." - Amy

[sirloot]

i think he woulda gotten thru to her if he would have asked her to come out the kitchen after that raw pizza and karate chopped it in front of her while yelling IT'S RAW !!! and then slamming it into a 55 gal drum trashcan

[Thunder_Snus]

It started out like any other episode....except they asked him to come so he could "tell the online bullies" it was actually good food. They did not want help they just wanted to be on tv with a famous chef saying "bloody hell mate this is good" which did not happen. Amy is obviously a product of parents that never let their child know that they were not the best at everything (and probably not anything) and for most that are brought up like that it is a mindset that never dies.

[sirloot]

actually he said her deserts were fantastic .. maybe she should just stick to what she's good at ?

[lxskllr]

I think her desserts are purchased, and repackaged. I've only half paid attention to all this, but I heard Sammi was business ma with a bit of a shady past, and Amy was a Vegas floozy. It's been speculated that they use the restaurant to launder money.

[Riggins44]

What are the odds they haven't already been offered their own reality show? Or that place isn't now packed so people can see the sideshow in action? They are probably going to make money off this. If they don't get busted for unreported tips they stole from servers.

[devilock76]

It started out like any other episode....except they asked him to come so he could "tell the online bullies" it was actually good food. They did not want help they just wanted to be on tv with a famous chef saying "bloody hell mate this is good" which did not happen. Amy is obviously a product of parents that never let their child know that they were not the best at everything (and probably not anything) and for most that are brought up like that it is a mindset that never dies.

She needs some time with Tyler Durden...

Ken

[CzechCzar]

Part Four - The Reinforcements

Husband and wife restaurant owners Amy and Samy Bouzaglo provided an extensive lesson earlier this week in how not to use the Internet, especially after being filmed behaving poorly on Kitchen Nightmares and consequently coming under fire from hecklers on Facebook and Reddit. The story went viral, ensuring maximum exposure. But now the couple has enlisted the help of a PR firm to clean up the commenter inferno that they themselves fanned the flames of. And, wisely or not, they've decided the answer is a "Grand Re-Opening" event at their Scottsdale restaurant on Tuesday, May 21, which is going to double as a press conference and a chance for the Bouzaglos to set the record straight, or something.

The couple has retained PR firm Rose + Moser + Allyn, and yesterday's press release states that "[On Tuesday,] customers will be able to decide who is correct: a famous celebrity chef or the marketplace that has supported the small, locally-owned business for six years." They will only allow a limited number of diners into the restaurant on Tuesday, who will be screened via e-mailing the publicist first. Also, a portion of the proceeds will be donated to "a charity organized to bring awareness to cyber bullying."