You know you are getting old when....

[Zimobog]

Here is how you handle grey chest hair:
First you will pluck them, until there are 12 or more.
Then you will ask the wife if she thinks they are sexy or not. She will laugh, say yes, you will know she is lying.
Next, you will shave or dye them.
Finally, you will say "**** it" and have grey chest hairs.

[Premium Parrots]

Here is how you handle grey chest hair:
First you will pluck them, until there are 12 or more.
Then you will ask the wife if she thinks they are sexy or not. She will laugh, say yes, you will know she is lying.
Next, you will shave or dye them.
Finally, you will say "**** it" and have grey chest hairs.

wow......that's exactly how my wife handled it when she started getting grey hair on her chest.

[Skell18]

When you start making old man noises just thinking about getting out of your chair!

I have done that for years and I am only 33! My knees crack and everything! Thank fook for private medical care!

[Zimobog]

Do you have to hide in attics, Skelly? I heard the National Health service will send a death squad to your house if you have creaky knees at age 33!

[GoVegan]

Both the mother and the daughter look good.

[Paco]

^ Na I've seen a bunch of mom and daughter combos I'd like to pop since I was a teenager. Unless the daughter is 45 then you're old lol.




And btw it's 2 days after I did that "hard" work and multiple spots on my body hurt like my back and my right hand (from holding the bed up you sick f*cks)

[squeezyjohn]

When a pretty girl with a body to die for is all over you at the end of a gig and you decide to decline. When your bandmates ask why (despite the obvious wife & kids reasons) the first thing that comes to mind is ... "nah ... she'd be useless on the allotment - think about the tomatoes she wouldn't remember to water!"

True story

[Paco]

When a pretty girl with a body to die for is all over you at the end of a gig and you decide to decline. When your bandmates ask why (despite the obvious wife & kids reasons) the first thing that comes to mind is ... "nah ... she'd be useless on the allotment - think about the tomatoes she wouldn't remember to water!"

True story

Hahaha that's pretty funny as long as allotment means farm. We don't use that word in the states unless it is in reference to someone's share of something or time to do something lol. It's funny how words are so different in England and America. I love watching British Telly especially when the use "Cock Up" gets me every time.

[squeezyjohn]

Allotment isn't really a farm - it's a piece of land that the local parish council is actually obliged to rent out to the common people for a small "peppercorn" rent. The reason for the laws goes back to the enclosures act when the rich landowners basically "stole" the common land that was free for anyone to cultivate before ... that's a very simplistic way of putting it but it absolutely devastated the lives of the very poor and allotments were an attempt to redress the balance a bit. A full sized allotment is 10 poles or about 300 square yards - deemed at the time enough land to feed a family of 4 if intensively cultivated.

So - the people who have allotments aren't farmers - but they are massively associated with both old men, the second world war and geeky hippies who want an alternative lifestyle ... not exactly rock'n'roll!

[Skell18]

Allotment isn't really a farm - it's a piece of land that the local parish council is actually obliged to rent out to the common people for a small "peppercorn" rent. The reason for the laws goes back to the enclosures act when the rich landowners basically "stole" the common land that was free for anyone to cultivate before ... that's a very simplistic way of putting it but it absolutely devastated the lives of the very poor and allotments were an attempt to redress the balance a bit. A full sized allotment is 10 poles or about 300 square yards - deemed at the time enough land to feed a family of 4 if intensively cultivated.

So - the people who have allotments aren't farmers - but they are massively associated with both old men, the second world war and geeky hippies who want an alternative lifestyle ... not exactly rock'n'roll!

The peppercorn comes from contract law which you get taught int he first year of law school, the principle that consideration has to be given for a contract to be good, even if it is simply a peppercorn, then there is a valid contract

[Skell18]

Do you have to hide in attics, Skelly? I heard the National Health service will send a death squad to your house if you have creaky knees at age 33!

I would rather have the NHS than have to pay for everything like you guys, at least your death squads would get the job done quickly rather than having to sit on a waiting list

[Zimobog]

I'd rather pay for my health care than pay for everyone else's! Besides, how can it be "free" when taxes are so high?
But yes, our death squads will be second only to Germany's, only ours will do it to a Nu-Metal soundtrack and wearing Oakleys.

[Skell18]

I'd rather pay for my health care than pay for everyone else's! Besides, how can it be "free" when taxes are so high?
But yes, our death squads will be second only to Germany's, only ours will do it to a Nu-Metal soundtrack and wearing Oakleys.

Don't your taxes at some point pay for the uninsured people etc? Criminals in jail, illegal immigrants who get shot/injured whilst entering the US? Someone has to pay for it and you can guarantee they won't be.

I would have thought a death metal soundtrack would have been more fitting (and enjoyable), I would want them to kill me if Limp Bizkit started playing

[GoVegan]

Don't your taxes at some point pay for the uninsured people etc? Criminals in jail, illegal immigrants who get shot/injured whilst entering the US? Someone has to pay for it and you can guarantee they won't be.

I would have thought a death metal soundtrack would have been more fitting (and enjoyable), I would want them to kill me if Limp Bizkit started playing

Not exactly but kind of. Generally, if you are low income and have dependent children, you can qualify for free or low cost medical coverage under Medicaid through the state or county. Each state has a different system and you have to found a doctor or clinic willing to accept it for payment. Copayments outside of the system are illegal so you usually have to use the services of a low income health clinic because the reimbursements rates are low. Now if you don't have dependent children, you can usually get help through another county or state medical program. These programs often have very strict income and property requirements. Also, many of them have rules like not allowing retro active coverage.

Now, if you have absolutely no coverage and go into a hospital one of two things will happen. If you have a job or bank account, the hospital will send you a gigantic bill and take you to court if you don't make payments on it. Your wages and bank accounts can be attached through the court and it is not uncommon for somebody to owe tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars for medical treatment they received years ago. If you don't have a job or are here illegally, the hospital will usually write your bill off and receive a tax deduction for it so you will owe nothing. The problem with using this approach is that many hospitals will not take you unless you have a very serious medical issue.

You automatically get free medical care if you are incarcerated or receiving most government sponsored disability payments. Yes, there are people here who commit minor crimes to go to jail and get treatment. There are also a lot of people able to work who are receiving disability payments to not work.

[Skell18]

Not exactly but kind of. Generally, if you are low income and have dependent children, you can qualify for free or low cost medical coverage under Medicaid through the state or county. Each state has a different system and you have to found a doctor or clinic willing to accept it for payment. Copayments outside of the system are illegal so you usually have to use the services of a low income health clinic because the reimbursements rates are low. Now if you don't have dependent children, you can usually get help through another county or state medical program. These programs often have very strict income and property requirements. Also, many of them have rules like not allowing retro active coverage.

Now, if you have absolutely no coverage and go into a hospital one of two things will happen. If you have a job or bank account, the hospital will send you a gigantic bill and take you to court if you don't make payments on it. Your wages and bank accounts can be attached through the court and it is not uncommon for somebody to owe tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars for medical treatment they received years ago. If you don't have a job or are here illegally, the hospital will usually write your bill off and receive a tax deduction for it so you will owe nothing. The problem with using this approach is that many hospitals will not take you unless you have a very serious medical issue.

You automatically get free medical care if you are incarcerated or receiving most government sponsored disability payments. Yes, there are people here who commit minor crimes to go to jail and get treatment. There are also a lot of people able to work who are receiving disability payments to not work.

Thanks GV