Originally posted by Vulpes
Well it's not so much that I have preconceptions about how those with this illness should "act" or "seem", but rather I am aware that people with this illness suffer at varying degrees. Some are completely functional and just have personal internal battles they have to deal with (and are often helped with medications), while some are completely lost in their own world seperate from reality and don't even believe they have schizophrenia so they won't take their medications, and most fall somewhere in the middle of that spectrum. The only preconception I have is that you appear through your writings here to be on the good end of that scale which is totally awesome and I am glad you aren't suffering from what my brother in law goes through, though I am aware that you have your own struggles as well.
As for cannabis, I can see why you would be completely against it, because even if there is a remote possibility that it made your condition worse than it would have otherwise been in the absence of marijuana, why advocate for something that could potentially change your life in a negative way? Like being bitten by a dog at a young age and then being afraid of dogs forever, it appears to me as completely rational to have the feelings you have towards marijuana. I caution other users too because while marijuana is generally a benign substance relative to other drugs, it does carry with it the possibility of triggering some issues, especially if those issues already exist or have yet to come forward.
As for my anxiety, I don't know exactly where it stems from. I noticed it after I smoked MJ for a while, at which point I reluctantly stopped because I kept thinking I was having a heart attack, but then I was in the army for a while and once I got out my anxiety was even worse. I have also used other drugs in the past that certainly made all of this worse, so for me I think it is just a combination of things that have caused this anxiety. I spend at least 5 days out of the week feeling like I am having a stroke or a heart attack and it is so real that I can't help but going to the doctor sometimes because I think I really am having a heart attack. Then they give me some pills and it goes away, so clearly it was all in my head. Right now I am just trying to exercise and keep my BP down since that seems to help the most, I also have some ativan in case I have a panic attack which do happen out of no where and semi-frequently. That way I can just pop one of those and save myself a trip to the ER lol. I tried yoga and meditation and that worked too but I kind fo stopped all that, even though it was very effective.
In regards to the OP of this article, I will note that this morning on the radio I heard a report stating that something like 30% of high school kids reported that they had smoked marijuana within the past week, as opposed to only like 15% who reported smoking cigarettes. This was attributed to the fact that high schoolers perceive marijuana as less harmfull. By and large, and for the vast majority of people, I would say this perception is correct and harm reduction is always a mantra of mine. At the same time I look to my own struggles and realize that, while 1,000 people may react fine to it, it really sucks if you end up being that one guy who has adverse reactions and it messes you up. Also, like you said, smoking it before your 20's can have notable changes to your brain structure and we still dont' know exactly what that means in terms of side effects or performance over a lifetime. So smoking in high school is probably a terrible idea for a variety of reasons, but most importantly because you are ****ing with your brain. When I was in high school that was not the prevailing opinion so everyone just smoked the shit like it was drinking tea. I don't know if that is what caused my anxiety and frequent panic episodes, but when i stopped it got better, and when i started again it got worse, so to me I would say that (at least in my case), it's the cannabis that is causing (or did cause) it, so I stay away. Plus I am married and have children now so it's not really something I can partake of anyways for the sake of my daughter. I don't really think marijuana is very harmfull relative to drinking alcohol or anything, but you don't want to create an environment where it is seen as normal or acceptable. If she smoked when she was in her 20's I wouldn't be heartbroken or anything, but i'd hate to see her doing that as an adolescent and then saying it was because she saw me doing it my whole life.
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