My Journey......Mrs. Butterworth, 128 years of hard waffles

[Premium Parrots]

Update On Proverb

Chinese Proverb: Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. 2012 Updated Version: Give a man a welfare check, a free cell phone with unlimited free minutes, free internet, cash for his clunker, food stamps, Section 8 housing, free contraceptives, Medicaid, ninety-nine weeks of unemployment, free medicine, and he will vote Democrat the rest of his life- even after he's dead.

[Premium Parrots]

Grandpa gets audited.......


The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.

The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying
that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it, 'says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration? '

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really, 'says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

I keep telling you! Don't Mess with Old People!!

[phantom]

lmao. Good one

[Crow]

[Premium Parrots]

both of those are much better with the drugs......





just sayin

[Crow]

both of those are much better with the drugs......







just sayin

Naturally!

[CzechCzar]

http://news.yahoo.com/keep-called-wo...RR5iAAaXHQtDMD

PARIS (Reuters) - The CEO of a U.S. tire company has delivered a crushing summary of how some outsiders view France's work ethic in a letter saying he would have to be stupid to take over a factory whose staff only put in three hours work a day.
Titan International's Maurice "Morry" Taylor, who goes by "The Grizz" for his bear-like no-nonsense style, told France's left-wing industry minister in a letter published by Paris media that he had no interest in buying a doomed plant.
"The French workforce gets paid high wages but works only three hours. They get one hour for breaks and lunch, talk for three and work for three," Taylor wrote on February 8 in the letter in English addressed to the minister, Arnaud Montebourg.
"I told this to the French union workers to their faces. They told me that's the French way!" Taylor added in the letter, which was posted by business daily Les Echos on its website on Wednesday and which the ministry confirmed was genuine.
"How stupid do you think we are?" he asked at one point.
"Titan is going to buy a Chinese tire company or an Indian one, pay less than one Euro per hour wage and ship all the tires France needs," he said. "You can keep the so-called workers."

[Premium Parrots]

stop making sense

[Premium Parrots]

.........damit

[Premium Parrots]

....

[Premium Parrots]

thought Sirloot would like this.............

[Crow]

Well done Sweden.....your move Japan
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=75a_1361730335

Alright, I don't know what I just watched; I'm really high, but I loved it. Obviously that chick is drunk and on drugs. Rock on!

[Frosted]

South African police have installed state of the art technology outside the bail address of Oscar Pistorius to ensure he doesn't leave.

A cattle grid.

[Premium Parrots]

If you watch closely at the 1:25 mark you can see Dear Mr. GN argueing with Whalen. Not sure about what tho.

[Premium Parrots]