My Journey......Mrs. Butterworth, 128 years of hard waffles

[Burnsey]

Good for the Prince!. Besides, if he was asking the Princess to marry him, it was probably his sister.

[Premium Parrots]

Charles Krauthammer Article - New York Post

This is worth reading ................ The Enemy Amongst Us!! By Charles Krauthammer, Oct 11 2017 An article from the New York Post: I do not understand how living in a country with its democracy established over 200 years ago, and now, for the first time in history, suddenly we have one of our former presidents set up a group called “Organizing for Action” (OFA). OFA is 30,000+ strong and working to disrupt everything that our current president’s administration is trying to do. This organization goes against our Democracy, and it is an operation that will destroy our way of governing. It goes against our Constitution, our laws, and the processes established over 200 years ago. If it is allowed to proceed then we will be living in chaos very much like third world countries are run. What good is it to have an established government if it is not going to be respected and allowed to follow our laws? If you had an army some 30,000 strong and a court system stacked over the decades with judges who would allow you to break the laws, how much damage could you do to a country? We are about to find out in America! Our ex-president said he was going to stay involved through community organizing and speak out on the issues and that appears to be one post-administration promise he intends to keep. He has moved many of his administration’s top dogs over to Organizing for Action. OFA is behind the strategic and tactical implementation of the resistance to the Trump Administration that we are seeing across America, and politically active courts are providing the leverage for this revolution. OFA is dedicated to organizing communities for “progressive” change... Its issues are gun control, socialist healthcare, abortion, sexual equality, climate change, and of course, immigration reform. OFA members were propped up by the ex-president’s message from the shadows: “Organizing is the building block of everything great we have accomplished Organizers around the country are fighting for change in their communities and OFA is one of the groups on the front lines. Commit to this work in 2017 and beyond.” OFA’s website says it obtained its “digital” assets from the ex-president’s re-election effort and that he inspired the movement. In short, it is the shadow government organization aimed at resisting and tearing down the Constitutional Republic we know as AMERICA. Paul Sperry, writing for the New York Post, says, “The OFA will fight President Donald Trump at every turn of his presidency and the ex-president will command them from a bunker less than two miles from the White House.” Sperry writes that, “The ex-president is setting up a shadow government to sabotage the Trump administration through a network of non-profits led by OFA, which is growing its war chest (more than $40 million) and has some 250 offices nationwide. The OFA IRS filings, according to Sperry, indicate that the OFA has 32,525 (and growing) volunteers nationwide. The ex-president and his ‘wife’ will oversee the operation from their home/office in Washington DC. Think about how this works. For example: Trump issues an immigration executive order; the OFA signals for protests and statements from pro-immigrant groups; the ACLU lawyers file lawsuits in jurisdictions where activist judges obstruct the laws; volunteers are called to protest at airports and Congressional town hall meetings; the leftist media springs to action in support of these activities; the twitter sphere lights up with social media; and violence follows. All of this happens from the ex-president’s signal that he is heartened by the protests. If Barack Obama did not do enough to destroy this country in the 8 years he was in office, it appears his future plans are to destroy the foundation on which this country has operated on for the last 241 years. If this does not scare you, then we are in worse trouble than you know. So, do your part.. You have read it, so at least pass this on so others will know what we are up against. We are losing our country and we are so compliant. We are becoming a “PERFECT TARGET” for our enemy! Editor’s comments: Krauthammer is about the best and brightest journalist and political analyst we have, in my opinion. His words of warning in the below message should be taken seriously and spread throughout the country so as many of our citizens as possible are made aware of what is happening right under our noses!

[Burnsey]

Ok, Ok, we can file this one under " there are no new jokes anymore", but it still makes me giggle......

At the end of the tax year the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?"

"Good question." noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles."

Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way.

"What about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?" Ah, yes." replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question.

"We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of matzo balls."

"I see." replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"

"Here, too, we do not waste." answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a year they send us a complete Dick."

[Premium Parrots]

Yea that's an oldie but a goodie, but still makes me laugh.

[Snusdog]

Ahahahhaaaha....still circumcision is no laughing matter....tell me to drop trow and you have a flint knife.....oh no no no

[Burnsey]

New
I would like to share an experience with you all about drinking
and driving.

As you well know some of us have been known to have had rare
brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd
social session over the years.

A couple of nights ago I was out for a few drinks, with some
friends and had a few too many beers and some shots.

Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit I did
something I've never done before???? I took a bus home.

Sure enough, I passed a DUI checkpoint, but because it was a bus,
they just waved it through.

I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise,
as I have never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got it!

[Premium Parrots]

lol

[OregonNative]

Been about a year and a half since I popped in here... hope all you gents are well!

Got about 10 rolls of Prima Fint & a few rolls of Thunder on the way. Next prilla is for all you fellers.

[Premium Parrots]

Good to see ya mate

[Burnsey]

Three contractors


Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House.

One is from Chicago, another is from Kentucky, and the third is from New Orleans. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The New Orleans contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.

"Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $9,000. That's $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me."

The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $7,000. That's $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me."

The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$27,000."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure?”

"The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Kentucky to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the Government Stimulus plan worked.

Remember... Four boxes keep us free: the soap box, the ballot box, the jury box, and the cartridge box.

"I love my country; it's the government I'm afraid of!"

[Burnsey]

Okay, Okay, I know it's sexist but I enjoyed and my ol' lady giggled and snickered.

Men Are Just Happier People! What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress - $5,000. Tux rental - $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes - one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache... You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier!

NICKNAME· If Laura, Kate, and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba, and Wild man.

EATING OUT· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, outcome the pocket calculators.

MONEY. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS· A woman has the last word in any argument.· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband· /A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears, and hopes and dreams.· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY. A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing! So, send this to the women who have a sense of humor …. and to the men who will enjoy reading.

(Personal foot note regarding the last 3 lines. I gave up drinking in 75' and my wife has never forgotten some of my pre-75' behavior.)

[Premium Parrots]

............its not sexist if its the truth.

[Burnsey]

On their way to the church to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident.
Being good Catholics, the young couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.

While waiting, they begin to wonder: could they possibly get married in Heaven?
When St. Peter finally showed up, they asked him. St Peter said "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out", and he leaves them sitting at the Gate.

After three months, St Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes" he informs the couple " I can get you married in Heaven".

“Great!" said the couple, "But we were
just wondering, what if things
don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

“You must be bloody joking" says St. Peter, red-faced with frustration, slamming his clipboard on the ground.

“What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple".

“OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted "It took me three months to find a priest up here.....Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"

[Premium Parrots]

lmao...didn't see that one coming

[Burnsey]

Some help for the old timers

Texting for seniors:


BFF - Best Friend Fell

BTW - Bring The Wheelchair

TTYL - Talk To You Louder

BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth

LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out

FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

IMHAO - Is My Hearing Aid On

OMMR - On My Massage Recliner

ROFLACGU - Rolling On The Floor Laughing And Cant Get Up

And always remember..........Don't peez old people off. The older we get the less "Life in Prison" is a deterrent.