My Journey......Mrs. Butterworth, 128 years of hard waffles

[Veganpunk]

HAHAHAHAHHA I remember this thread!

[kevs]

http://textsfrombennett.tumblr.com/

[Premium Parrots]

my doctor strikes again.


Snow white and the one dwarf..........

The seven dwarfs always left to go to work in the mine early each morning. As always, Snow White stayed home doing her domestic chores. At lunchtime she would prepare their lunch and carry it to the mine. One day as she arrived at the mine, she saw that there had been a terrible cave-in. Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope that the dwarfs had somehow survived. "Hello. Hello!" she shouted. "Can anyone hear me? Hello!" For a long while, there was no answer. Losing hope, Snow White again shouted, "Hello! Is anyone down there?" Just as she was about to give up all hope, she heard a faint voice from deep within the mine, singing; "Re-elect Barack Obama, vote for Barack Obama." Snow White fell to her knees and prayed, "Oh, thank you, God! At least Dopey is still alive."

[Premium Parrots]

[Rattlesnake]

Thanks PP. I hope we all realize what they are giving for us.

[Premium Parrots]

.....so we are at dinner tonight. My wife, my mother inlaw and myself. Mind you my Mil has a bit of alzeimers and I have some hearing loss. OK. We are eating roast beef on buns with green peppers. So you know the situation.

My Mil says to my wife "The pecker is just right, its great, not too soft and not too hard" and she looks at me. [shes always watching me for some reason]. I tossed my samwich down on the plate and sternly ask my wife "wtf have you been telling your mom?"

The wife says "wth is wrong with you?" I said "Do you have to tell your mom everything?" Wife says "What are you talking about?" I said "So my pecker is just right...?

The wife starts LMAO and explains. Apparently, my Mil actually said Peppers.

nevermind.


This happens alot around here.

[CoderGuy]

.....so we are at dinner tonight. My wife, my mother inlaw and myself. Mind you my Mil has a bit of alzeimers and I have some hearing loss. OK. We are eating roast beef on buns with green peppers. So you know the situation.

My Mil says to my wife "The pecker is just right, its great, not too soft and not too hard" and she looks at me. [shes always watching me for some reason]. I tossed my samwich down on the plate and sternly ask my wife "wtf have you been telling your mom?"

The wife says "wth is wrong with you?" I said "Do you have to tell your mom everything?" Wife says "What are you talking about?" I said "So my pecker is just right...?

The wife starts LMAO and explains. Apparently, my Mil actually said Peppers.

nevermind.


This happens alot around here.

LOL! That's hilarious.

[Premium Parrots]

its a tad sad but true.....word for word.

Yea after it was all explained it was pretty funny. Even my 87 yo mil was laffing.

[sgreger1]

.....so we are at dinner tonight. My wife, my mother inlaw and myself. Mind you my Mil has a bit of alzeimers and I have some hearing loss. OK. We are eating roast beef on buns with green peppers. So you know the situation.

My Mil says to my wife "The pecker is just right, its great, not too soft and not too hard" and she looks at me. [shes always watching me for some reason]. I tossed my samwich down on the plate and sternly ask my wife "wtf have you been telling your mom?"

The wife says "wth is wrong with you?" I said "Do you have to tell your mom everything?" Wife says "What are you talking about?" I said "So my pecker is just right...?

The wife starts LMAO and explains. Apparently, my Mil actually said Peppers.

nevermind.


This happens alot around here.

lolololollo

[Premium Parrots]

[Premium Parrots]

another email from my doctor..........


So Long Arizona ... Moving to Illinois!

Illegal immigrants are boycotting Arizona by the thousands, showing their outrage with Arizona's controversial new SB-1070 law by moving elsewhere.

In the small town of Guadalupe, AZ, south of Phoenix, Manuel Renaldo is one of those who is punishing Arizona by leaving. As he loaded his stolen car with his stolen belongings and family of ten, Renaldo told this reporter through an interpreter "It's a matter of principle; I refuse to be supported by a state that treats me like a criminal!"

The effects of the exodus are being felt by Arizona retailers, who are reporting dwindling sales of beer, spray paint, and ammunition. Also hit hard are the state hospitals, which have reported a dramatic decline in births and emergency room visits. Tattoo parlors are in a state of panic.

Renaldo told a reporter through an interpreter that he and his family are moving to Illinois, a democratic state with high taxes where hard working people will support him and his family with dignity!

Kind of brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

[Premium Parrots]

EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 50

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.
...
Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.

Then try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level.)

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag...!!!

[EricHill78]

Lmao good one PP.. I'd hate to hand a potato bag to anyone over 50. I'm not really interested to hear how much potatoes cost in 1965.

[Premium Parrots]

Lmao good one PP.. I'd hate to hand a potato bag to anyone over 50. I'm not really interested to hear how much potatoes cost in 1965.

**** you dude.

[Premium Parrots]

another email video from my doctor............