My Journey......Mrs. Butterworth, 128 years of hard waffles

[Premium Parrots]

true but....

this is the only thread that is always on topic because its always off topic all the time.

[Nuusku]

true but....

this is the only thread that is always on topic because its always off topic all the time.

Damn that is actually right in a sick, twisted snuson way. :P

[Frosted]

Hate your job?

[Bigblue1]

Definitely NSFW as if it needs to be said in this thread.
I present to you a Man's Fairy tale

[Premium Parrots]

lmao




wait a minute....I'm missing all that?

desperately searches for a rusty razor blade

[Premium Parrots]

"So let me get this straight...
We are going to be gifted with a healthcare plan that we are forced to purchase, and fined if we don't, which reportedly covers ten million more people without adding a single new doctor, but provides for sixteen thousand new IRS agents,written by a committee whose chairman doesn't understand it, passed by congress, that didn't read it, but exempted themselves from it, and signed by a president who smokes, with funding administered by a treasury chief,who didn't pay his taxes, for which we will be taxed for four years before any benefits take effect, by a government which has bankrupted Social Security and Medicare, all to be overseen by a surgeon general who is obese and financed by a country that is broke.
...So what the blank could possibly go wrong?"

[Premium Parrots]

Obituary printed in the London Times

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- And maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death,
-by his parents, Truth and Trust,
-by his wife, Discretion,
-by his daughter, Responsibility,
-and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
-I Know My Rights
- I Want It Now
- Someone Else Is To Blame
- I'm A Victim
- Pay me for Doing Nothing

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

[Premium Parrots]

http://sciencedemonstrations.fas.har...econtent341734

[Premium Parrots]

USS REAGAN Seeing it next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective... ENORMOUS !


When the Bridge pipes 'Man the Rail' there is a lot of rail to man on this monster: shoulder to shoulder, around 4.5 acres.
Her displacement is about 100,000 tons with full complement.

Capability

Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate for more than 20 years without refueling

1. Expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years
2. Carries over 80 combat aircraft
3. Three arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going 150 miles per hour in less than 400 feet

Size

1. Towers 20 stories above the waterline
2. 1092 feet long; nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall
3. Flight deck covers 4.5 acres
4. 4 bronze propellers, each 21 feet across, weighing 66,200 pounds
5. 2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet and weighing 50 tons
6. 4 high speed aircraft elevators, each over 4,000 square feet

Capacity

1. Home to about 6,000 Navy personnel
2. Carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days
3. 18,150 meals served daily
4. Distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh water from sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes
5. Nearly 30,000 light fixtures and 1,325 miles of cable and wiring 1,400 telephones
6. 14,000 pillowcases and 28,000 sheets

USS BILL CLINTON
The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home port of Vancouver , BC


The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton 'for his foresight in military budget cuts' and his conduct while holding the (formerly dignified) office of President.

The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft, although they cannot be launched on the 100-foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.

As a standing order, there are no firearms allowed on board.

This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.

An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and, though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.

In times of conflict, the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada .

USS BARACK OBAMA

Details are vague. But don't you worry..........he has a plan.

[Frosted]

Another drunk Russian

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=6cc_1349451198

[Premium Parrots]

Another drunk Russian

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=6cc_1349451198

lmao

[CoderGuy]

Another drunk Russian

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=6cc_1349451198

LMAO too lol

[Skell18]

Another drunk Russian

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=6cc_1349451198

hahaha only in Russia!

[Premium Parrots]

hahaha only in Russia!

not really. Extreme only posted that because he was so happy the guy in the video doing that shit wasn't Irish........this time.

[Skell18]

not really. Extreme only posted that because he was so happy the guy in the video doing that shit wasn't Irish........this time.

hahahahahaha, need to beat one time when I was in Dublin we had been to a show, got drunk, got to the dart station, my mate needed a piss, so in front of two police he took a whizz and I was stood there throwing up right in front of them, we left post haste! lol