My Journey......Mrs. Butterworth, 128 years of hard waffles
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Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......
I've been wrong lots of times. Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.
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Originally posted by jagmanssDo you ever listen to someone talk and just wanna put your hand up and say no bitch, you're wrong...
Yepper...everytime my wife opens her mouth.
but that wouldn't be correct, she was right once.
but since she is a little italian she thinks she is always right. and I can't yell as loud as her.Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......
I've been wrong lots of times. Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.
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Originally posted by jagmanssHave you ever wanted to do this to your wife or anyone for that matter? Does this rag smell like chloroform to you? LMMFAO
A while back while my wife was sleeping I went and got a small glass of warm water. I stood over my wifes face with my mr. Johnson hanging out. I sprinkled a few drops of warm water on her face while I was shaking mr. Johnson a bit. She woke up blazing....thinking I had pissed on her.
I'll never do that again.Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......
I've been wrong lots of times. Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.
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Originally posted by Premium Parrotshaven't done that but..........
A while back while my wife was sleeping I went and got a small glass of warm water. I stood over my wifes face with my mr. Johnson hanging out. I sprinkled a few drops of warm water on her face while I was shaking mr. Johnson a bit. She woke up blazing....thinking I had pissed on her.
I'll never do that again.Thanks PP, Now I know how to piss her off... Will post the results....
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I heard this tonight and btw was not directed at me, But thought it was as funny as shit and have wanted to say it to alot of people....
Were you conceived anally cause you are the biggest asshole I know.....
Hahaahaaa! I can picture it and hear PP saying it now to someone now.... LMMFAO
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When I die I want to go to hell.
I hear thats where all the hot chicks hang out.
works for me.Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......
I've been wrong lots of times. Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.
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Originally posted by Premium Parrotslol, Frosty....you just ain't right mate.
50 Shades of grey
Four guys have been going to the same fishing trip for many years.
Two days before the group is to leave, Kevin's wife puts her foot down ...and tells him he isn't going.
Kevin's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three mates get to the camping site only to find Kevin sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.
"Shit ,Kevin how long you been here? How did you talk your missus into letting you go ?"
"Well, I've been here since last night. After dinner at home yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who ?'"
I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing sexy brand new lingerie for sale. She said had been reading 'Fifty Shades of Grey' and she had a devilish look in her eyes!!!
She took my hand and led me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over.
On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes !
She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did.
And then she said, "Do whatever you want."
So . . . . here I am !
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