Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung aSign on it saying: 'Free to good home
You want it, you take it.'
For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.
He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.
So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'
The next day someone stole it!
Ahahhahhahha
When it's my time to go, I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my uncle did....... Not screaming in terror like his passengers
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......
I've been wrong lots of times. Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.
My cousin has two tickets for the 2019 SUPER BOWL, both box seats. He paid $2,500 each ticket, but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...It's at Temple of God Church, in Lexington at 3pm. Her name is Jessica , she's 5'4, about 140 lbs, good cook too.....She'll be the one in the white dress.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......
I've been wrong lots of times. Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.
My cousin has two tickets for the 2019 SUPER BOWL, both box seats. He paid $2,500 each ticket, but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...It's at Temple of God Church, in Lexington at 3pm. Her name is Jessica , she's 5'4, about 140 lbs, good cook too.....She'll be the one in the white dress.
Good one!
I liked "glazed and confused" also, I have been Glazed for a couple of weeks now that i have a Cannabis Card. Retirement just took on a whole new dimension! Just Sayin......!
My cousin has two tickets for the 2019 SUPER BOWL, both box seats. He paid $2,500 each ticket, but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...It's at Temple of God Church, in Lexington at 3pm. Her name is Jessica , she's 5'4, about 140 lbs, good cook too.....She'll be the one in the white dress.
Now that is funny I don't care who you are
When it's my time to go, I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my uncle did....... Not screaming in terror like his passengers
Years ago, a young Navy Pilot was injured while ejecting from his A-4 Skyhawk due to engine failure during a catapult shot from the carrier. Due to the heroics of rescue helicopter crew and the ship's hospital staff, the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear.
Since he wasn't physically impaired, he remained on flight status and eventually became an Admiral. However, during his career he was always sensitive about his appearance.
One day the Admiral was interviewing two Navy Master Chiefs and a Marine Sergeant Major for his personal staff. The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?"
The Master Chief answered, "Why, yes, Admiral. I couldn't help but notice that you are missing your starboard ear, so I don't know whether this impacts your hearing on that side."
The Admiral got very angry at this lack of tact and threw him out of his office.
The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked this same question, answered, "Well yes, Sir, you seem to be short one ear."
The Admiral threw him out as well.
The third interview was with the Marine Sergeant Major. He was articulate, extremely sharp, and seemed to know more than the two Navy Master Chiefs put together. The Admiral wanted this guy but went ahead with the same question. "Do you notice anything different about me?"
To his surprise, the Sergeant Major said, "Yes Sir. You wear contact lenses."
The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an incredibly tactful Marine. "And how would you know that?" the Admiral asked.
The Sergeant Major replied: "Well, sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with only one ear."
When I see a beautiful girl walking down the street I think to myself that I'd like to take her out, be super sweet to her and cherish her the rest of my life or......see her head on a stick.
just saying
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......
I've been wrong lots of times. Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.
When I see a beautiful girl walking down the street I think to myself that I'd like to take her out, be super sweet to her and cherish her the rest of my life or......see her head on a stick.
I was going to make a very difficult emotional decision earlier today but then I got worn out by the Twitter feud between feminists over Ariana Grande having her own coffee drink at Starbucks. I also remembered that a squirrel waved a giant piece of fried chicken at me the other day and between those two things I've more or less plateaued with being alive for the day and possibly the week.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......
I've been wrong lots of times. Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.
ATTENTION: I Am Deleting The Following People in This group As They Do Not Contribute or post.
Kendra Pertilla
Reida Nichols
Irene Dennen
Rachel Brantley
Jivenia Porter
Renee Simpkins
Andrea Bogle
Danni Smith
Vicky Cumming
Marica Dickert
Elmira Chouinard
Danielle Grimes
Deonna Foerster
Lorean Rothschild
Nola Dick
Lucille Delariva
Nora Wohlers
Shoshana Kozak
Bari Strous
Douglass Houser
Leonarda Otero
Jamie Jenkins
Kaleigh Didonna
Lyndon Lanclos
Renata Schillaci
Lisa Arrigo
Charlotte Calvin
Yelena Dunnam
Rena Lawhead
Quinn Sines
Jeanmarie Cabaniss
Keena Prado
Hannah Hoover
Noemi Repp
Eliz Timbers
Melina Avallone
Virginia Mccomb
Kory Demery
Amberly Toole
Lanell Slaton
Murray Casperson
Luna Barrio
Vashti Magnes
James Matthenson
Kathryne Philips
Mahalia Smallwood
Eileen Machin
Lillie Mull
Tanika Morris
Seema Keough
Reatha Poche
Gwenn Seip
Ricardo Ferriera
Liana Dunston
Nelly Niemann
Jessie Lininger
Annis Nevers
Brittany Blatter
Kendra Pertilla
Reida Nichols
Irene Dennen
Rachel Brantley
Jivenia Porter
Renee Simpkins
Andrea Bogle
Vicky Cumming
Marica Dickert
Elmira Chouinard
Danielle Grimes
Deonna Foerster
Lorean Rothschild
Nola Dick
Lucille Delariva
Nolan Wohlers
Shoshana Kozak
Bari Strous
Donna Houser
Leonarda Otero
Kaleigh Didonna
Lyndon Lanclos
Renata Schillaci
Lisa Arrigo
Charlotte Calvin
Yelena Dunnam
Ronna Lawhead
Quinn Sines
Jeanmarie Cabaniss
Keena Prado
Hanhah Hoover
Noemi Repp
Eliz Timbers
Melina Avallone
Virginia Mccomb
Kory Demery
Amberly Toole
Lanell Slaton
Murray Casperson
Leonardo Barrio
Vashti Magnes
Kathryne Philips
Mahalia Smallwood
Eileen Machin
Lillie Mull
Tanika Morris
Seema Keough
Reatha Poche
Gwenn Seip
Kendra Pertilla
Reida Nichols
Irene Dennen
Rachel Brantley
Jivenia Porter
Renee Simpkins
Andrea Bogle
Vicky Cumming
Marica Dickert
Clancy Parsons
Harry Dick
Amanda Hugandkis
Mike Hunt
Kendra Pertilla
Reida Nichols
Irene Dennen
Rachel Brantley
Jivenia Porter
Renee Simpkins
Andrea Bogle
Danni Smith
Vicky Cumming
Marica Dickert
Elmira Chouinard
Danielle Grimes
Deonna Foerster
Lorean Rothschild
Nola Dick
Lucille Delariva
Nora Wohlers
Shoshana Kozak
Bari Strous
Douglass Houser
Leonarda Otero
Jamie Jenkins
Kaleigh Didonna
Lyndon Lanclos
Renata Schillaci
Lisa Arrigo
Charlotte Calvin
Yelena Dunnam
Rena Lawhead
Quinn Sines
Jeanmarie Cabaniss
Keena Prado
Hannah Hoover
Noemi Repp
Eliz Timbers
Melina Avallone
Virginia Mccomb
Kory Demery
Amberly Toole
Lanell Slaton
Murray Casperson
Luna Barrio
Vashti Magnes
James Matthenson
Kathryne Philips
Mahalia Smallwood
Eileen Machin
Lillie Mull
Tanika Morris
Seema Keough
Reatha Poche
Gwenn Seip
Ricardo Ferriera
Liana Dunston
Nelly Niemann
Jessie Lininger
Annis Nevers
Brittany Blatter
Kendra Pertilla
Reida Nichols
Irene Dennen
Rachel Brantley
Jivenia Porter
Renee Simpkins
Andrea Bogle
Vicky Cumming
Marica Dickert
Elmira Chouinard
Danielle Grimes
Deonna Foerster
Lorean Rothschild
Nola Dick
Lucille Delariva
Nolan Wohlers
Shoshana Kozak
Bari Strous
Donna Houser
Leonarda Otero
Kaleigh Didonna
Lyndon Lanclos
Renata Schillaci
Lisa Arrigo
Charlotte Calvin
Yelena Dunnam
Ronna Lawhead
Quinn Sines
Jeanmarie Cabaniss
Keena Prado
Hanhah Hoover
Noemi Repp
Eliz Timbers
Melina Avallone
Virginia Mccomb
Kory Demery
Amberly Toole
Lanell Slaton
Murray Casperson
Leonardo Barrio
Vashti Magnes
Kathryne Philips
Mahalia Smallwood
Eileen Machin
Lillie Mull
Tanika Morris
Seema Keough
Reatha Poche
Gwenn Seip
Kendra Pertilla
Reida Nichols
Irene Dennen
Rachel Brantley
Jivenia Porter
Renee Simpkins
Andrea Bogle
Vicky Cumming
Marica Dickert
If you went through this entire list looking for your name, I do apologize for completely wasting your time. I have no clue who these people are, I'm not even an admin of this group. I stole this from another page and thought it was hilarious.🤣
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......
I've been wrong lots of times. Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.
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