jokes out of boredom...

[texasmade]

so lets get everybody to post some jokes..


A man walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for a pack of condoms. Paying for them, he bursts into laughter and walks out of the store. The next day he comes in again, again buys condoms, and again walks out laughing. Thinking this is somewhat strange, the pharmacist asks his assistant to follow the man if he comes back. Sure enough, the man comes in the next day and walks out laughing. This time the assistant goes after him, returning 20 minutes later.

"So did you follow him?" asks the pharmacist.

"Yup."

"Where did he go?"

"Your house."

[burningcow422]

"Why did the girl fall off the swing?"

-She had no arms

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJPRSjdyrb4
And a pretty interesting illusion with a dollar that actually works. You'll appreciate it if you are insanely simple minded such as myself.

[texasmade]

A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist:

"I travel a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never get in touch with me."

Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a a cell phone?"

Blonde: "Those are a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car.

Psychiatrist: "Oh ... How is that working for you?"

Blonde: "Well, I haven't gotten any letters yet."

Psychiatrist: "..and why do you think that is?"

Blonde: "I think its because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."

[texasmade]

There is a Blonde driving a car and she crashes into
a tree... about a half hour later she wakes up to a cop knocking on her window. The Blonde gets out and the cop says m'am are you ok... she says yeah... but itwas crazy! I was just driving and out of no where came this tree. So i swerved to the right, there it was again and so i swerved to the left, and there it was again, so back to the right and.... the cop cut her
off short and said m'am... There is not another tree on this road for the next 30 miles, that was your air freshiner swinging back and forth!

[lxskllr]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJPRSjdyrb4
And a pretty interesting illusion with a dollar that actually works. You'll appreciate it if you are insanely simple minded such as myself.

I guess I'm simple too. That made me laugh :^D

[surfing_64]

Two ducks go for a romantic escape in a hotel.
After arriving, the Male duck realizes that they forgot condoms.

They decide to ring up room service, and the male duck asks for some condoms.

"Would you like me to put them on your bill?" asks the receptionist

"No way!!" says the duck, "I'll Suffocate!!"

[surfing_64]

A 17th Century captain was sailing along with his crew when a pirate ship came over the horizon.

The captain says, "Cabin boy, get me my red shirt." So, he gets his red shirt and they victoriously battle the pirates.

Several days later, they spot another pirate ship off the port bow. "Cabin boy," says the captain "get me my red shirt." They again battle the pirates and are victorious.

Later when things had settled down, the cabin boy asks, "Captain, why do you always want your red shirt just prior to battle?" The captain responds, "Well, in case I am inflicted with a wound, I don't want the crew to see my injury and lose spirit." "I see," says the cabin boy.

A few days later, they sight 20 pirate in the distance the captain yells out, "Cabin boy, get me my.."
"Red Shirt?" interupts the Cabin boy,

"No, not this time boy" says the captain, "Get me my brown pants!"

[TexDis]

Probably have heard this, but it is still a good one:

An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says, "We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump. At least one of you can survive."

The four open the door and look out below.

The Englishman takes a deep breath, yells "God Save The Queen!" and jumps.

The Frenchman gets really inspired, yells "Viva La France!" and he also jumps.

This really fires up the Texan so he hollers "Remember the Alamo!", grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.

[Premium Parrots]

come on guys. need more jokes please