I shit my pants today

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  • Dead Rabbit
    Member
    • Mar 2008
    • 315

    I shit my pants today

    Despite the reputation for the internet being full of boasting blowhards and liars, its also a place for brutal honesty. So, I feel like getting this off my chest. I'm driving to work today drinking a coffee and snusing the new Thunder. At which point, a different thunder rumbled. No problem, we have all been their before. Or at least I thought. In a span of 10 seconds I was dripping in cold sweat. Within 3 minutes, I was driving my truck absolutely humiliated with myself. There just was not any of the options your probably thinking of. Yes friends, I shit my ****ing pants.

    Don't worry, I won't disgust you with the course of action I had to take.

    While, on one hand, I'm cracking up about it and expect to...uh...catch some shit for it, on the other I'm questioning my entire existence. I can bench 335 pounds, I can bluff in poker without a soul knowing, all in. I can hit 320 yard bombs in softball, I can debate with the best of them and my wife is hot.

    But I shit my pants.

    I know the the nic hit and the coffee had something to do with it. But, I'm still at a loss to explain what happened. I'm at home right now, obviously calling in sick.

    Can a grown man bounce back from this with his old swagger? Will I always be known as the dude who shit his pants now at snuson?

    WTF????????????????????????????????????
  • jamesstew
    Member
    • May 2008
    • 1440

    #2
    Henceforth on this forum you will be "The dude who shit his pants".

    Comment

    • lxskllr
      Member
      • Sep 2007
      • 13435

      #3
      A+ for honesty :^)

      I guess the nicotine hit too hard. I wouldn't worry about it, take it easy on the Thunder though.

      I don't like the new trend of high nic snus. All it'll do in the end is raise the bar of nicotine tolerance. It's strikes me as being the same as happily sniffing heroin, then deciding to start shooting up, for no other reason than a better buzz for a couple of weeks.

      Comment

      • Condor
        Member
        • Sep 2008
        • 752

        #4
        We can call you 'Mark Messier' or 'Diapers'.

        Dude, when I was a kid i thought all I had to do was fart and I shit my pants.

        I guess that's why they say "shit happens". Because it can. And it did. There's no shame in blasting the chocolate shotgun in your pants. It's not like you do it every day, you got sick.

        Comment

        • Dead Rabbit
          Member
          • Mar 2008
          • 315

          #5
          Originally posted by Condor
          We can call you 'Mark Messier' or 'Diapers'.

          There's no shame in ..

          actually...lol...I'm here to tell you there is indeed a little bit of shame in blasting the chocolate shotgun in your pants...

          anyone want to buy a truck? I think its time I turn her in....

          Comment

          • Condor
            Member
            • Sep 2008
            • 752

            #6
            Originally posted by Dead Rabbit
            Originally posted by Condor
            We can call you 'Mark Messier' or 'Diapers'.

            There's no shame in ..

            actually...lol...I'm here to tell you there is indeed a little bit of shame in blasting the chocolate shotgun in your pants...

            anyone want to buy a truck? I think its time I turn her in....
            Look man, I was just trying to make you feel better. When a man sharts in his trousers you can't go kicking him when he's down. Its all about being a bro.



            For sale. Work truck. Slight aftermarket shit streak/ wretched smell...

            Just dont report it to CARFAX.

            Comment

            • Dead Rabbit
              Member
              • Mar 2008
              • 315

              #7
              Originally posted by Condor
              Originally posted by Dead Rabbit
              Originally posted by Condor
              We can call you 'Mark Messier' or 'Diapers'.

              There's no shame in ..

              actually...lol...I'm here to tell you there is indeed a little bit of shame in blasting the chocolate shotgun in your pants...

              anyone want to buy a truck? I think its time I turn her in....
              Look man, I was just trying to make you feel better. When a man sharts in his trousers you can't go kicking him when he's down. Its all about being a bro.



              For sale. Work truck. Slight aftermarket shit streak/ wretched smell...

              Just dont report it to CARFAX.

              lol

              Comment

              • Premium Parrots
                Super Moderators
                • Feb 2008
                • 9759

                #8
                OH the humanity!!!!

                IT appears thunder is an appropriate name for that snus.


                So was it normal shit or was it real runny like when you are really sick? And what was your last meal? Did it look familiar?


                There is a good side to this episode tho. At least we all now know that Dead Rabbit gives a shit.

                8)




                Lets be nice here.....never hit a man when hes brown
                Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......





                I've been wrong lots of times.  Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.


                Comment

                • RobsanX
                  Member
                  • Aug 2008
                  • 2030

                  #9
                  Re: I shit my pants today

                  Originally posted by Dead Rabbit
                  Don't worry, I won't disgust you with the course of action I had to take.
                  Well, I hope it at least involved a u-turn... :lol:

                  Comment

                  • Starcadia
                    Member
                    • May 2008
                    • 646

                    #10
                    Oh, so that's what people mean by "mudslide".

                    I'm sure if you sell your truck seat on eBay some old Japanese man will pay good money for it.

                    Comment

                    • Dead Rabbit
                      Member
                      • Mar 2008
                      • 315

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Premium Parrots
                      OH the humanity!!!!

                      IT appears thunder is an appropriate name for that snus.


                      So was it normal shit or was it real runny like when you are really sick? And what was your last meal? Did it look familiar?


                      There is a good side to this episode tho. At least we all now know that Dead Rabbit gives a shit.

                      8)



                      Lets be nice here.....never hit a man when hes brown


                      there was a thunder like explosion and then my pants filled up with mud

                      Comment

                      • bearcat87
                        Member
                        • Nov 2008
                        • 400

                        #12
                        Man, sorry you crapped yourself. I think we have all been there. But on a lighter note it reminded me of this joke.

                        Son: "Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don't know what Politics is."

                        Father: "Well, let's take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mum is the administrator of money, so we'll call her Government. We take care of your need, so let's call you The People. We'll call the maid the Working Class and your brother we can call The Future. Do you understand son?"

                        Son: "I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it."

                        That night awakened by his brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep.

                        The next morning he reported to his father.

                        Son: "Dad, now I think I understand what Politics is."

                        Father: "Good son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?"

                        Son: "Well Dad, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, Government is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of Shit."

                        Comment

                        • texasmade
                          Member
                          • Jan 2009
                          • 4159

                          #13
                          Originally posted by Condor
                          There's no shame in blasting the chocolate shotgun in your pants.

                          lmfao that made my day....

                          Comment

                          • Jason
                            Member
                            • Jan 2008
                            • 1370

                            #14
                            Let the man who has never sharted cast the first stone. It's happened to all of us, dude.

                            At least it didn't happen AFTER you got to work.

                            Comment

                            • Paul Jolley

                              #15
                              Re: I shit my pants today

                              Originally posted by Dead Rabbit
                              I'm driving to work today drinking a coffee and snusing the new Thunder. At which point, a different thunder rumbled... Yes friends, I shit my ****ing pants.
                              I dread to think how your body will react to Odin. :shock:

                              Comment

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