LIFE"S A BEACH!!!!

**Roo** · 04-09-09, 05:47 AM

Sorry Paul, so sorry to hear. Just do me a favor and let me send you that snus we've been PM'ing about. C'mon man let me help in the smallest way... Life goes on, we all manage somehow, someway. Keep your chin up brother.

**paulwall9** · 04-09-09, 05:58 AM

You know I have told myself the same thing life goes on we will manage through out the yrs. this time just feels so different I guess because this is just one of and i hope the last real big struggle's of my life!

**daruckis** · 04-09-09, 06:01 AM

you and i are in similar boats my friend. the difference is my girlfriend and i are living at my moms(a fact i was reluctant to admit to), hopefully only another month, we have a child, he is almost a year, and lifes been pretty shitty to us. my girlfriends been in 2 car accidents, and has no job because my son is a pretty full time job. she is planning to go to school in january, but i have no plan for myself of what i would even go to school for. i dunno man, id say hang in there, but im sure you dont care about hearing that from me. at least we have snuson i guess.

**texasmade** · 04-09-09, 06:02 AM

i can relate for the most part shit is pretty rough right now you just gotta fight thru it im not gonna say things will get better but atleast ur tryin to get jobs and makin an effort so some good has gotta come from that hell my phone is cut off and me and my girl of almost a year just broke up and she packed up and left leaving me to pay rent on a part time salary i cant get a job at the dry cleaners i might lose my license and have a year probation plus a steep ass fine not to mention what those two felony charges will carry but hey thats life u can choose to give up or say f*ck it and keep going forward youve made it through hard times before you can do it again just keep ur head up shit happens sometimes and its those times that let your true strength show if you can live thru a shot to the stomach u can deal with money issues and arguments it just takes time but i hope everything gets better for you man

**paulwall9** · 04-09-09, 06:04 AM

Originally posted by daruckis

you and i are in similar boats my friend. the difference is my girlfriend and i are living at my moms(a fact i was reluctant to admit to), hopefully only another month, we have a child, he is almost a year, and lifes been pretty shitty to us. my girlfriends been in 2 car accidents, and has no job because my son is a pretty full time job. she is planning to go to school in january, but i have no plan for myself of what i would even go to school for. i dunno man, id say hang in there, but im sure you dont care about hearing that from me. at least we have snuson i guess.

I actually do care man, I listen when people say things to me! I really hope that your future gets brighter as well! I am with you on school though i used to have things all planned out and knew what I wanted and now it is just like WELL DAMN....that is not going to work any more!

**lxskllr** · 04-09-09, 06:05 AM

Happy Birthday Paul :^)

I'm sorry to hear of your troubles :^( It's a bad time to be looking for work. I've been unemployed since January, and there doesn't seem to be much around. Try not to let things get you down too bad. It seems hopeless right now, but you're ONLY 22; still a kid really. Things will look up eventually, and in a few years this'll only be a chapter in history.

I was in similar shape at 22. I had enough money for bills and food, but that was about it. I'd go into the grocery store with $10 and a calculator, and try to get the most food I could with that little bit of money. It was a PITA at the time, but those were some of the best years of my life.

Where am I going with this? I don't really know... I guess what I'm trying to say is life's what you make of it. Fortunes can be gained and lost, I'm right back to where I was, except I might have $15 for groceries now :^D, but I'm pretty much happy. Do cheap things with your girl; walk in the park, make things out of junk, play a board game... whatever it takes to relieve the stress, and know that no situation is forever. Things will turn around soon enough :^)

**bakerbarber** · 04-09-09, 06:05 AM

Dude I feel you. I was in a similar spot about 12 years ago. I had a surgery go wrong and my plans for college had to go on hold. Then when I finally healed up I got my own place. Money was seriously tight for years. Then something clicked. Right after my mother died. I was 21 and suddenly realized I was a grown ass man and had to start acting like one. You got it. It's all about attitude and looking for opportunities. Nothing will fall into your lap. If your eyes and your heart are open good things will come as opportunities. You need to take every chance you come across. Focus on what makes your life good and foster every bit of happiness you have. Don't fight about money. Your woman should be a priority.

No matter how bad it seems it will get better. In a few years you'll look back and appreciate how much stronger you are for making it through these tough times. The wisdom that comes from having been there.

One day at a time, one job at a time, eventually you'll find the right fit. You're not the only one who's ever had problems. You're not the only one who's endured hardship. What's important is how you react and where you go from here. Self-pitty and negative thinking is the wrong kind of energy to have. You're a smart guy and you will come out on top. Trust me. Trust in yourself and your capacity to be happy and make a living.

If you ever need a boost we're here to help brother.

**paulwall9** · 04-09-09, 06:10 AM

Yeah, I know TEX I tell my self that everyday man I lived threw a potentially fatal altercation and came out on top! This shit has just een building up though I donna know! I guees i am just an emotinal bitch right now!

**texasmade** · 04-09-09, 06:16 AM

lol sometimes it good to get things off your chest it helps just worry about neccesities right now and we r here if you need support

**paulwall9** · 04-09-09, 06:22 AM

Thanks for all the kind words guys! I know that I am not the only one having hard times right now! It just kills me that I can't take the only person that I consider my"soulmate" (for want of a less cliche word) out and that i can't buy her the things she wants and that I am feeding her water, ramen noodles and ham sandwhich's everyday! I mean I really don't care about me right now but having her have to suffer makes me feel like I am failing as a man and as her provider and protector! I have just never had all these crazy emotions until this point in my life and let me say it feels terrible!

**Condor** · 04-09-09, 06:54 AM

I'll try not to wax philosophical too much on you man...

I have been there too, man. In college, my roommate was taking my rent money and not paying the rent....he was paying his other bills with it...anyway, we got kicked out, and you know how you have to have a security deposit to get an apartment...well my grandma just died, and I didnt want to burden my parents with anything ($), so I was basically homeless for a few weeks. I was bouncing around house to house with my friends. Thank God they understood. I slept in my car for several nights. I was dirt poor for months after that. All i was doing was going to class and working my shitty 7$ an hour job, and I was very depressed. Then my grandpa died....then a month later, my best friend was riding his Vespa and got hit head on by a drunk that veered into his lane....he died... This was after my freshman summer, I went to boot camp for the USAF and my grandpa on my dad's side died while I was there, and I couldnt attend services. I was in a black ass hole, man. I seriously wanted to die. I pretty much was a shut in, and I had a girlfriend, and I felt like a loser... so I dumped her...so she could get a guy that went out, and was happy about life and shit. If we went out and she bought me a beer, I felt like a total mooching ghetto dwelling shit. Anyway, at the time, all I was thinking was "Will this shit ever get better? Why am I going to school? These people are better than me." I would usually only have 20 or so bucks to my name, if that... and I would see 18 year olds driving around campus in new BMWs and Mercedes and wearing 600$ worth of clothes. It added insult to injury. I had a shitty job that I hated and thought about going postal all the time... I refused to ask my parents for help. I did not see an end in sight.

Well, shit does get better. It usually gets better fast. But you have to make it get better. Like Baker said, I just clicked one day and said "screw this", and went to the local PD. I asked to speak with 'someone important". They thought that was hilarious. I acted like myself and not some ass snarfing clown. I was honest and direct with them. I told them Im going to UGA and I want to be a cop. Im sick of ****ing around, and I want to work nights so I can get into some shit and still take morning classes. They liked me and gave me a shot. I was getting paid while I was at the academy for the summer and effectively quadrupled my income overnight. JUST LIKE THAT! I started doing my job and they realized I was good at it. I started moving up. I felt useful and productive. My outlook changed. (School does not make me feel useful and productive, nor does taking massive amounts of shit for minimum wage)

Now...I graduated years ago, and am working at a pretty high level with some good DTF stuff and I just made Lt. Im about to go federal. I met a good girl and she is very driven. She changed my life. I felt secure for a change. We got married. She has a good job. We bought a nice house. We are still moving up and are getting ready to take the next step up together. And I know that whatever happens, I can handle it. When some people chickenshit out or whine on things, I tell myself "I have slept in my car and heated Chef Boyardee (bought with scrounged change) on my engine block. I have gone without food for long periods of time, and this is NOTHING compared to that." Nothing I'm proud of, but definitely happy to have pulled myself out of it. It has shaped who I am. It has helped me at my job and I feel that it has made me a much stronger person. To repeat: I always know that no matter what happens, I can handle it. And I know that shitty things happen to good people.

Life sucks, and sometimes its a huge shit sandwich that you have to take a bite of. (Sometimes) you didn't order that shit sandwich, but the waiter won't take it back. You have to get up out of your chair, go into the kitchen, kick the shit out of the line cook, and secure your New York strip. Sometimes you just eat the shit sandwich a few times before you realize you dont have to. (See what I did there? The shit sandwich dining experience is a metaphor.)

Its a powerful learning experience.

EDIT: Oh yeah...If you need anything, give a shout and Ill do what I can.

**Condor** · 04-09-09, 07:03 AM

Crapola.....

Sorry that was so long. But thats my very personal "life will get better" tale. IT WILL GET BETTER IF YOU MAKE IT BETTER.

**paulwall9** · 04-09-09, 07:06 AM

Condor i sent you a pm! But I thank you for that post i think I needed to hear that!!! I am grateful that all of you have taken time to respond!

**Jason** · 04-09-09, 10:53 AM

Most of us have been there dude, and there are probably more these days than there used to be due to the economy, so don't feel like you are going it alone. I was in a much better position when I was 22 since the military gave me all of my essentials for free, had a sweet job that was fun, and did nothing but party almost every day........

Now I'm 33, work a shitty retail job due to losing a job I really liked over a technicality, broke up with a girl I had been with for 4 years that did me wrong (who I was all set to marry), and I have no savings at all to speak of.

BUT,

I'm happy because I know it could be worse. There are people out there who have 1000 times more problems than me. I have relatively cheap hobbies that keep me entertained and great friends, as well as a clearer mind due to what I've learned from all the bad experiences.

Don't let it get to you.......don't ignore your problems, but at the same time don't let them rule your life. Step back, take a few breaths and just look at your options. You'll find a solution. :wink:

LIFE"S A BEACH!!!!

LIFE"S A BEACH!!!!

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