Snake humor

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  • sheilalynn
    Member
    • May 2009
    • 1103

    Snake humor

    Just a few snake thingys...since you can probably tell by my avatar that I'm into them :wink:
    -----------------------------
    Little Girl in the Pet Store (my favorite snake joke)

    A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest
    little lisp, between two missing teeth,

    "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"

    As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that
    he's on her level and asks,

    "Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwack
    wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"

    She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her
    knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice,

    "I don't think my python weally gives a thit."
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    You might be a snake owner if:

    You've bred rabbits for 15 years, yet have no idea what their average life span is.

    You answer the door holding a big fat snake & wonder why the Jehovah's Witnesses won't talk with you.

    You convince your girlfriend that it was just make believe, anacondas don't get as big as the one in the movie, they only grow as large as the tank they're in! (No, that's fish logic!)

    You've learned that defrosting rodents in the microwave DOES NOT WORK!! (Splat! Really gross!!)

    Your best friend's cat died & you wonder if you can have the body.

    You got in trouble with your girlfriend for looking at the "free kitten" ads with a gleam in your eye.

    You find "tongue flicking" an attractive attribute in members of the opposite sex.

    At your child's "pet day", they're the only ones returning home with their pet

    Your Great Dane is afraid of going in the basement
  • bigbuyer
    Member
    • Jul 2009
    • 119

    #2
    You are the snake lady that is for sure. Just make sure your Boa or any of your 3 other snakes forget and bite you instead of a mouse. I have heard about snake bites being common among snake owners, especially during feeding. Is that true?

    Comment

    • sheilalynn
      Member
      • May 2009
      • 1103

      #3
      Originally posted by bigbuyer
      You are the snake lady that is for sure. Just make sure your Boa or any of your 3 other snakes forget and bite you instead of a mouse. I have heard about snake bites being common among snake owners, especially during feeding. Is that true?
      It might be common if you don't follow the "avoid stupid feeding errors" rules, like not washing your hands after touching whatever you feed them or reaching in immediately after they're done eating...then you're asking for a bite :wink: Also, never feed them in their "home"...always put them in a different container (I use large plastic tote-type containers) for feeding so they don't mistake their cage being opened for a "dinner bell". Never had a bite from any of my 4 or even a strike. Funny though how my male cornsnake will back up and get into strike position if someone else tries taking him out of his cage :P I tell everyone He just has personality :lol:

      Comment

      • Owens187
        Member
        • Sep 2009
        • 1547

        #4
        Ive had snakes all my life, never an agressive one...until now! I have this 3 yr old Red Tail that is such an A**HOLE!! I follow all the rules, wash my hands, feed in a separate container or the bathtub, etc etc....but this dude is just out for blood! If you even walk by his cage hes coiled up or even striking at the glass! Ill throw on some gloves and long sleeves and take him out, sometimes hell be cool after that, but most times hes just "on edge" and striking at any movement! I dont know what the hell to do with this guy. Anyone interested in a FREE Red Tail Boa?!

        BTW...his name is Damien, and he has this upside-down-cross looking pattern right on top of his head....maybe that explains it.........

        Comment

        • sheilalynn
          Member
          • May 2009
          • 1103

          #5
          Originally posted by Owens187
          Ive had snakes all my life, never an agressive one...until now! I have this 3 yr old Red Tail that is such an A**HOLE!! I follow all the rules, wash my hands, feed in a separate container or the bathtub, etc etc....but this dude is just out for blood! If you even walk by his cage hes coiled up or even striking at the glass! Ill throw on some gloves and long sleeves and take him out, sometimes hell be cool after that, but most times hes just "on edge" and striking at any movement! I dont know what the hell to do with this guy. Anyone interested in a FREE Red Tail Boa?!

          BTW...his name is Damien, and he has this upside-down-cross looking pattern right on top of his head....maybe that explains it.........
          Wow, that's unusual...boas are normally the mellowest larger snakes to have, especially red tails and dumerils! If he was a wild-caught instead of a captive-bred baby when you got him, that could be why. I say put on the thick gloves and long sleeves, and never stop once you reach in to grab him. That way he'll know that you're not going to be intimidated and that your hand is nothing to be afraid of and he may just calm down after a while of doing that. If it was a burmese python you had, I'd just say that they could always hiss when you reach for them but then they're fine after you take them out.

          That is an interesting sounding marking on his head though! hehe

          Comment

          • Xobeloot
            Member
            • Jan 2008
            • 2542

            #6
            <embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_jNWPUFNA2U&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4 e9e00" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed>

            Comment

            • justintempler
              Member
              • Nov 2008
              • 3090

              #7
              Saw this this morning



              Part of:
              The Daily Telegraph Galleries: World's Worst Parents
              http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/new...6719773?page=1

              Comment

              • sheilalynn
                Member
                • May 2009
                • 1103

                #8
                <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/RVVGKiYZ0SM&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/RVVGKiYZ0SM&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

                Went to preview this and don't know why the other junk comes up with the vid..

                Comment

                • sheilalynn
                  Member
                  • May 2009
                  • 1103

                  #9
                  Originally posted by justintempler
                  Saw this this morning



                  Part of:
                  The Daily Telegraph Galleries: World's Worst Parents
                  http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/new...6719773?page=1
                  Wow, that's some dumb-ass parents! Hope child protective services went there after they saw that pic. Talk about stupidity...

                  Comment

                  • spike
                    Member
                    • Sep 2009
                    • 136

                    #10
                    shiela ive got a small king snake that always curls up in striking position when i reach in the tank is that normal? i do not feed him in other containers maybe thats my problem. but he is fine when i take him out. i do wash my hands though..

                    Comment

                    • sheilalynn
                      Member
                      • May 2009
                      • 1103

                      #11
                      Originally posted by spike
                      shiela ive got a small king snake that always curls up in striking position when i reach in the tank is that normal? i do not feed him in other containers maybe thats my problem. but he is fine when i take him out. i do wash my hands though..
                      It could be why he does that. You could try a small snake hook to get him out since most snakes are fine once they're out of their cages. Well, except for that a$$hole red tail that's mentioned earlier in this thread :P

                      Make sure you handle him at least a few times a week, and at other times than just feeding day. If he doesn't have a nice place to hide in his cage, that can stress him and make him a little defensive too. They need the security of a hide box or 2 in their cages.

                      Comment

                      • spike
                        Member
                        • Sep 2009
                        • 136

                        #12
                        i will try the hook..he does have hide boxes..so yeah i will try to take him out tonight seeing as i havent handled him in awhile..but everytime i grab him he pee's...

                        Comment

                        • zmanzero
                          Member
                          • May 2009
                          • 766

                          #13
                          http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage...-in-China.html

                          uhh. i've heard of an one eyed snake before... :shock:

                          Comment

                          • sheilalynn
                            Member
                            • May 2009
                            • 1103

                            #14
                            Originally posted by zmanzero
                            http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2636889/One-legged-snake-found-in-China.html

                            uhh. i've heard of an one eyed snake before... :shock:
                            Whoa...that's pretty cool!

                            Comment

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