Favorite Comedians Thread

[chadizzy1]

Snusophile quoted Denis Leary, reminded me of another quote.

John Wayne had cancer twice. Second time, they took out one of his lungs. He said, "Take 'em both! Cuz I don't ****in'
need 'em!"

We tried to be nice to you non-smokers. We ****ing tried. OK? You wanted your own sections in the restaurants. We gave you that, huh. But that wasn't enough for you. Then you wanted the airplanes. We gave you the whole godamn plane! You happy now? I will guarantee you if the plane is going down, the first announcement you're gonna hear is: "Folks, this is your Captain speaking. Look, uhm, light 'em up, 'cause we're going down, okay. I got a carton of Camel non-filters, I'll see you on the ground."

I LOVE Denis Leary. The man is a genius.

Who are your favorite comedians?

Favorites:
MITCH F'ING HEDBERG - Ever quote is a classic.

Sam Kinison
BEST QUOTE EVER:
You want to stop world hunger? Stop sending these people food. Don’t send these people another bite, folks. You want to send them something, you want to help? Send them U-Hauls. Send them U-Hauls, some luggage, send them a guy out there who says, ‘Hey, we been driving out here every day with your food, for, like, the last thirty or forty years, and we were driving out here today across the desert, and it occurred to us that there wouldn’t BE world hunger, if you people would LIVE WHERE THE FOOD IS! YOU LIVE IN A DESERT! YOU LIVE IN A F–KING DESERT! NOTHING GROWS OUT HERE! NOTHING’S GONNA GROW OUT HERE! YOU SEE THIS? HUH? THIS IS SAND. KNOW WHAT IT’S GONNA BE A HUNDRED YEARS FROM NOW? IT’S GONNA BE SAND! YOU LIVE IN A F–KING DESERT! GET YOUR STUFF, GET YOUR SHIT, WE’LL MAKE ONE TRIP, WE’LL TAKE YOU TO WHERE THE FOOD IS! WE HAVE DESERTS IN AMERICA — WE JUST DON’T LIVE IN THEM, A–HOLES!”

Denis Leary - See above.

Dave Chapelle - His racial jokes are the best. And his white guy voice.

Rodney Carrington - Helicopter, Helicopter, Helicopter!

George Carlin - "What year did Jesus think it was?" haha, and many others.

Ones I like:

Pablo Francisco - Love the way he does the movie preview guy.

Chris Rock "Put some robotussin on it...let that 'tussin soak on down to the bone. Out of 'tussin? Put some water in the bottle, shake it up, Mo'Tussin!"

Dana Carvey - "She's choppin' broccoli....she's choppin' broccoli!"

[sgreger1]

I seen Ralphie May live in San Frnacisco and he was a riot. He had this whole bit about different fingering techniques from the "shocker" to the "spoker". got an autographed T-shirt with them all on it lol.

[VBSnus]

Chad, I think you posted the A-list man.

[RRK]

I really like Chapelle and Carlin. Dave Chapelle lives a short drive from here. I would also add Eddie Murphy and even Bill Cosby.

[sgreger1]

I really like Chapelle and Carlin. Dave Chapelle lives a short drive from here. I would also add Eddie Murphy and even Bill Cosby.

Chapelle's skit on the blind black white supremacist is epic.

And of course the rick james one.

[texasmade]

religious fanatics

[CM]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imZ52...layer_embedded

[deadohsky]

I'd have to say one of my all time favorites is Bill Hicks. In saying that, i will go against the grain and say that i don't care for Dennis Leary as too many similarity's have been noted between his comedy and that of the late Bill Hicks.

[AtreyuKun]

Lewis Black
Moses Horwitz
Louis Feinberg
Jerome Horwitz

[daruckis]

I'd have to say one of my all time favorites is Bill Hicks. In saying that, i will go against the grain and say that i don't care for Dennis Leary as too many similarity's have been noted between his comedy and that of the late Bill Hicks.

i dont think denis leary actually wrote a joke until after bill hicks kicked the bucket. his entire old act was jacked from hicks.

that said i do like denis leary, mainly for his work on rescue me. as a standup comedian hes pretty annoying.

mitch hedburg is the king. all pale in comparison. hail to the king baby.

[texasmade]

daniel tosh before tosh.o and katt williams

[Bigblue1]

Chad, I think you posted the A-list man.

Nope! can't be an A list without the #1 A list comedian ever. Wait for it,,,
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<Richard Pryor>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>FTW

[texasmade]

Chad, I think you posted the A-list man.

Nope! can't be an A list without the #1 A list comedian ever. Wait for it,,,
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<Richard Pryor>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>FTW

[victoryredchevy]

Brian Regan. He's hilarious without having to drop the f bomb every 5 seconds.

[weeg3]

jim gaffigan. all the way.

"should i sit in it or eat it?.... this is sticky without pants on...."

"put candles in a cake, it's somebody's birthday. put candles in a pie, someone's drunk in the kitchen.... go check on grandma..."

"how about eggs?.... what does that have to do with jesus?.... alright, we'll hide 'em."

"hot pocket!.... not as good as your by menen, but i like it. what do you have for the latin american audience?.... uh..caliente pocket!.... you have a gift, my friend."

:lol: