Roping a Deer

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • wa3zrm
    Member
    • May 2009
    • 4436

    Roping a Deer

    I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

    The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

    I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.

    The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it.

    After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

    I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

    I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education.

    The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

    That deer EXPLODED.

    The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.

    A deer -- no chance.

    That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.

    The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

    A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

    I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

    Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand....kind of like a squeeze chute.

    I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

    Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.

    Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

    The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.

    I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it.

    While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

    Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

    This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

    The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

    Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

    I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

    So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope to sort of even the odds.
    If you have any problems with my posts or signature


  • bakerbarber
    Member
    • Jun 2008
    • 1947

    #2
    :lol:

    :lol:


    :lol:

    Comment

    • srhoades2talk
      Member
      • Nov 2009
      • 95

      #3
      That's why in the South we climb up in a tree where it can't get to us and just shoot the damn thing. :lol:

      Comment

      • texasmade
        Member
        • Jan 2009
        • 4159

        #4
        i can take that off of my list of things to do...to bad nobody had a video camera we couldve seen you on most dangerous

        Comment

        • sagedil
          Member
          • Nov 2007
          • 7077

          #5
          OK, so maybe I am a very bad man, but right on Mr. Deer!!! You so got everything you deserved. :wink:

          Comment

          • Bigblue1
            Banned Users
            • Dec 2008
            • 3923

            #6
            That may just be the funniest thing I've read on the Net all year. Would you mind trying it again with a camera on. This way i will for sure have seen the funniest thing on the internet ever. Come to think of it maybe you should of picked a doe , or even better yet a newly dropped Fawn. :roll:

            Comment

            • chadizzy1
              Member
              • May 2009
              • 7432

              #7
              :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

              Comment

              • Veganpunk
                Member
                • Jun 2009
                • 5381

                #8
                That was classic!! :lol: :lol: :lol: Sorry for your pain, but deer are some badasses. Being an animal activist and all, I'm with Sage on this on. :lol:

                Comment

                • Snusdog
                  Member
                  • Jun 2008
                  • 6752

                  #9
                  O my god we're related.

                  Some distant primordial gene pool of dumb ass lies in our common past

                  That was flippen hilarious.
                  When it's my time to go, I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my uncle did....... Not screaming in terror like his passengers

                  Comment

                  • Snusdog
                    Member
                    • Jun 2008
                    • 6752

                    #10
                    Re: Roping a Deer

                    Originally posted by wa3zrm
                    I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer
                    One of the all time greatest lines on the forum ever.
                    When it's my time to go, I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my uncle did....... Not screaming in terror like his passengers

                    Comment

                    • chadizzy1
                      Member
                      • May 2009
                      • 7432

                      #11
                      Re: Roping a Deer

                      <embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/1G8UuS3s7o4&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed>

                      Did NOBODY see the video?

                      I mean CMON! ITS INSANE!

                      Must. Watch. All of you. Now.

                      Comment

                      • sgreger1
                        Member
                        • Mar 2009
                        • 9451

                        #12
                        Wow that was something written so well I thinkw e should submit it to digg.com or something lol.


                        This is why they invented tree stands, a real man stays out of harms way and shoots through a scoped rifle




                        In other deer related news: On my way to work today on the canyon I-17, on the opposite side of the free way I see somethign flying in the air. I look and this huge deer had just been hit by a car, literally exploding and flying about as high as an SUV into the air. It then hit the center divider and was ran over by said SUV where it exploded once more.

                        My wife saw it and was almost in tears the whole rest of the ride

                        But now I know, that this is just payback to the deer community for what they've done in this story

                        Comment

                        • tom502
                          Member
                          • Feb 2009
                          • 8985

                          #13
                          A real man hides in the brush with a knife.

                          Comment

                          • RRK
                            Member
                            • Sep 2009
                            • 926

                            #14
                            Hows about tying your rope off to your truck before you rope it? Let it struggle against that for a little while and use it to pull the deer into a pen. There are farm raised deer. Nice story though, hope your arm and head are Ok.

                            Comment

                            • Skimo
                              Member
                              • Mar 2009
                              • 204

                              #15
                              If you've got a winch, even better than using a trailer hitch or bumper.

                              pull it in close and tie up its legs. simple slip knot should work well.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X