Alternate Word Meanings...

[wa3zrm]

The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

[Snusdog]

17. Doting, n. The process of bouncing along the ground after one has roped a female deer

[VBSnus]

Beatitude, n. a violent attitude

Upbringing, v. the act of pushing the button for someone on an elevator

Blackadder: [rewriting the dictionary] Baldrick, what have you done?
Baldrick: I've done "C" and "D."
Blackadder: Right. Let's have it, then.
Baldrick: Right. "Big blue wobbly thing that mermaids live in."
Blackadder: What's that?
Baldrick: "C."
Blackadder: Yes. Tiny misunderstanding. Still, my hopes weren't high. Oh, and "D?"
Baldrick: I'm quite pleased with "dog."
Blackadder: Yes, and your definition of "dog" is?
Baldrick: "Not a cat."

[weeg3]

Beatitude, n. a violent attitude

Upbringing, v. the act of pushing the button for someone on an elevator

Blackadder: [rewriting the dictionary] Baldrick, what have you done?
Baldrick: I've done "C" and "D."
Blackadder: Right. Let's have it, then.
Baldrick: Right. "Big blue wobbly thing that mermaids live in."
Blackadder: What's that?
Baldrick: "C."
Blackadder: Yes. Tiny misunderstanding. Still, my hopes weren't high. Oh, and "D?"
Baldrick: I'm quite pleased with "dog."
Blackadder: Yes, and your definition of "dog" is?
Baldrick: "Not a cat."

:drool: i LOVE that show, one of my favorite britcoms of all time.

[VBSnus]

Beatitude, n. a violent attitude

Upbringing, v. the act of pushing the button for someone on an elevator

Blackadder: [rewriting the dictionary] Baldrick, what have you done?
Baldrick: I've done "C" and "D."
Blackadder: Right. Let's have it, then.
Baldrick: Right. "Big blue wobbly thing that mermaids live in."
Blackadder: What's that?
Baldrick: "C."
Blackadder: Yes. Tiny misunderstanding. Still, my hopes weren't high. Oh, and "D?"
Baldrick: I'm quite pleased with "dog."
Blackadder: Yes, and your definition of "dog" is?
Baldrick: "Not a cat."

:drool: i LOVE that show, one of my favorite britcoms of all time.

I just finished burning all four seasons to disc and will be in Akron next week. Want a copy?

[weeg3]

I just finished burning all four seasons to disc and will be in Akron next week. Want a copy?

aww, how kind ^_^ however, this summer i torrented all of the seasons and put them on dvd for myself - i'm 1 step ahead of you!

i'll actually be in mansfield for this upcoming weekend, because it's the holiday and that's where my parents live (the armpit of the state)

[VBSnus]

I just finished burning all four seasons to disc and will be in Akron next week. Want a copy?

aww, how kind ^_^ however, this summer i torrented all of the seasons and put them on dvd for myself - i'm 1 step ahead of you!

i'll actually be in mansfield for this upcoming weekend, because it's the holiday and that's where my parents live (the armpit of the state)

I dunno, Toledo's kind of armpitty.

I'm actually going to Monroe, MI for Thanksgiving then staying in Cuyahoga Falls for a day or so, then coming home.

[Snusdog]

Love it!!!!

I've got a cunning plan my lord