Stupid things you've said at work

[shikitohno]

I work part time at the university computer lab as an IT work study for my school. I happened to be in the lab today while I wasn't working, so I didn't have a key. A lady recognized me and asked me to unlock the cabinet to get her some more staples. She's a really nice lady, so I meant to apologize and say, "Sorry, I don't have a key today, I'm not working now. If you'll be here in half an hour, they'll give me one and I can help you."

Naturally, what came out was quite different, and demonstrated my eloquence quite finely. "Sorry, I'm not actually here right now." The stupidity of what I said was so pervasive, it hung in the air for a moment before it hit me. Anyone else get caught off balance, and have such a blunder?

[sgreger1]

"Stupid things you've said at work "

= I quit

[RedMacGregor]

man, if i had a list of all the stupid things i've said at work over the past 16 years, i could publish a several volume set..

one that sticks out was, after getting the tour and just being hired, they asked what i thought. i said "oh, you guys are a bit behind, but we'll catch you back up"

complete CLM (career limiting move) director was PISSED.. it took developing 3 US Patents for the company before they came around.

[Premium Parrots]

"$20 for a BJ and $10 for a screw".


its supposed to be the other way around. but I really didn't care just as long as she paid me

[Ulsterman]

Removed.

[sgreger1]

In the Army we were doing a guard of honour at Buckingham Palace and for some reason the whole squad had massive wind. Throughout the whole parade everybody was farting loud and good - it was so bad you couldn't stop laughing - what makes not laughing worse is when you know you'll get in really deep doo da if you get caught so all you can see is these shoulders going up and down.

Afterwards the officer commanding the parade had us all together for a massive bollocking. He didn't cop on to what he said - "Gentleman, quite frankly I think it stinks" followed by more s******ing. Even the Sergeant Major couldn't stop smiling even though he'd just been screaming at us.

That's amazing, this phenomena of farting in formation or while at attention happens in Europe as well! When President Bush came to talk to use and do our division inspection he had to walk through the ranks of everyone and I swear soldiers just have the worst farts all the time so everyone was giggling because it smelled so bad it was like people were trying to fart on him as he walked by lol.

[truthwolf1]

I will come in earlier tomorrow.

I will stay later tonight.

[Snusophile]

In the Army we were doing a guard of honour at Buckingham Palace and for some reason the whole squad had massive wind. Throughout the whole parade everybody was farting loud and good - it was so bad you couldn't stop laughing - what makes not laughing worse is when you know you'll get in really deep doo da if you get caught so all you can see is these shoulders going up and down.

Afterwards the officer commanding the parade had us all together for a massive bollocking. He didn't cop on to what he said - "Gentleman, quite frankly I think it stinks" followed by more s******ing. Even the Sergeant Major couldn't stop smiling even though he'd just been screaming at us.

That's amazing, this phenomena of farting in formation or while at attention happens in Europe as well! When President Bush came to talk to use and do our division inspection he had to walk through the ranks of everyone and I swear soldiers just have the worst farts all the time so everyone was giggling because it smelled so bad it was like people were trying to fart on him as he walked by lol.

Haha, I think we're on to something here. When I swore in at the MEPs last week I was ripping ass the whole time. I was thinking to myself "oh lord, not NOW!"

[sgreger1]

Haha, I think we're on to something here. When I swore in at the MEPs last week I was ripping ass the whole time. I was thinking to myself "oh lord, not NOW!"

It's the weirdest thing. It might be something in the food, or maybe just comes with being a soldier. But it becomes a joke at one point because it almost ends up being an episode of "Terrance and Philip" from south park, with everyone just trying to strategicly fart on each other lol.

Maybe I can secure a government grant to research this phenomenon!

[adm]

I think that would actually be tactical farting.

The strategic part would loading up on beans and cabbage the night before! :twisted:

[sgreger1]

I think that would actually be tactical farting.

The strategic part would loading up on beans and cabbage the night before! :twisted:

Lololo.. Tactical farting. I would watch the olympics if it had this as a sport

[Ulsterman]

Removed.

[tom502]

But can he do The Road Warrior?

[Ulsterman]

Removed.

[sgreger1]

Great to see that you chaps do that on the other side of the Atlantic too lol.
It's even worse on early morning starts. On a ceremonial we'd normally try and keep all the wind for the very end of the national anthem.

One of our guys could fart at will which of course was hilarious. We actually had him on tape (yes tape) controlled farting for just under a minute without a pause. Poor chaps dead now (not related to farting).
Anyway.........what was the topic again??? :lol:

Don't even get me started on early morning shit.
I was in an airborne unit so we did a lot of night jumps where we have to sit out and wait for the jets at 2am in the blistering cold North Carolina winter. Only our farts to keep us warm lol