'Twas the night before Christmas,
and all through the house,
everyone felt s***ty,
even the mouse.
With Mom at the whorehouse and Dad smoking grass,
I had just settled down for a nice piece of a**.
When out on the lawn I heard such a clatter,
I sprung from my piece to see what was the matter.
When out on the lawn I saw a big d***,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
He came down the chimney like a bat out of h***,
I knew in a moment the f***er had fell.
He filled our stockings with pretzels and beer,
and had a big rubber d*** for my brother the queer.
He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart,
the son of a b**** blew the chimney apart.
He cussed and he swore as he rode out of sight,
Piss on you all and have a hell of a night.
and all through the house,
everyone felt s***ty,
even the mouse.
With Mom at the whorehouse and Dad smoking grass,
I had just settled down for a nice piece of a**.
When out on the lawn I heard such a clatter,
I sprung from my piece to see what was the matter.
When out on the lawn I saw a big d***,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
He came down the chimney like a bat out of h***,
I knew in a moment the f***er had fell.
He filled our stockings with pretzels and beer,
and had a big rubber d*** for my brother the queer.
He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart,
the son of a b**** blew the chimney apart.
He cussed and he swore as he rode out of sight,
Piss on you all and have a hell of a night.
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