My husband

[justintempler]

I may be crazy, but i think it's none of all our business. If cristi were truly unhappy, she has recourse. I for one am kinda tired of her my husbands a dick post's. If he's that bad leave him. If he's not, then don't anonymously talk shit about your soulmate, when he can't defend himself.

?that's all? Except I feel for ya.....

Sorry this post pertains to other posts that came before.

+1

I do feel bad for you Christi but you have to learn to stand up for yourself, people don't have power over you unless you give them that power.

[sgreger1]

I think that if one is not working, than they should get an allowance but can't expect much. Providing a house, stuff for the kids etc is expensive enough. But if he is spending it all on himself and not breaking you off with any, all while your family is paying for diapers etc, that's just plain wrong.

We just discussed an allowance the other day. I think he is starting to understand how it sucks to be broke all the time. He is gonna cave I can feel it. I have really been busting my butt around the house and going out of my way to treat him special so I am sure he will see that.

As far as the diapers go, my mom and dad have bought the diapers for all 3 of my kids. This is how it happened. They own a business so they go to Sam's club once a week. I would have them pick them up in bulk and when we had the money we could pay them back. We have a running tab with them that is over $4,000 long. He pays them back weekly, in installments. Does it make him happy, no. Do my parents care that it isn't paid in full, no. Should he be the one to purchase the diapers now that we can afford it, yes. They just always ask me if I need anything and when I do I tell them knowing that I can get the things I need now and not worry about paying until later. Then he really can't bitch at me for needing things we(according to him) can't afford.

Hmm, how to solve this. Hmm.. If only..,well, if only there were some, thing that you had that perhaps, I dunno perhaps something you could provide to him that he would want, and maybe if you take that thing (I can't put my finger on it) away from him, he may change his opinion on things.

:lol:


Unless you guys are just flat out broke he should hook you up with an allowance, I think that method is what works best for housewife's, that way they know what they are getting in advance and can budget it, and they have money that they can call their own and not have to beg for it like a dog barking for scraps. Keeping the house clean, meals cooked, and babies growing is tough and if money is available he should be surprising you with snus orders every now and again

[Bigblue1]

I normally don't even have a dime in my purse, EVER. It gets so bad that my sister and mom are buying my kids clothes and my baby's diapers. He is awful about giving out money for ANYTHING that doesn't benefit him.

from post 5 sounds terrible right.

As far as the diapers go, my mom and dad have bought the diapers for all 3 of my kids. This is how it happened. They own a business so they go to Sam's club once a week. I would have them pick them up in bulk and when we had the money we could pay them back. We have a running tab with them that is over $4,000 long. He pays them back weekly, in installments. Does it make him happy, no. Do my parents care that it isn't paid in full, no. Should he be the one to purchase the diapers now that we can afford it, yes. They just always ask me if I need anything and when I do I tell them knowing that I can get the things I need now and not worry about paying until later. Then he really can't bitch at me for needing things we(according to him) can't afford.

from post 15 doesn't sound so bad here.

Exactly what I'm talking about. Disingenuous at best. That is all.

Oh and I didn't post what I posted to get in a flame war. I just think when people are saying "you deserve better" when they don't know the whole story isn't a good thing for your relationship which has three kids involved. Things can get inflammatory pretty quickly and the guy doesn't even get a chance to defend himself much less have people know the whole story. That is all.

[Christi]

Regardless of how it sounds, terrible or not that bad, it still completely sucks to me. All I was doing by posting was letting people here who I feel have been involved (as in my friend) know that he gave me money and how excited I was. I vented a little, and anything I said in this thread has been said to his face...more than once. So he can defend himself when ever. The thing is he thinks it is okay to be the way he is.

Anyway, I could care less if you don't like my husband venting threads. Just don't read them or comment. There are people here that are my friends who do read my personal threads because they are my FRIENDS. That is why I post.

And yeah, I am defensive. You were rude, IMHO. If you don't like me don't read my threads as already stated.

[sagedil]

Chisti, I only have a moment, but just wanted to add one thing.

For whatever it may be worth, I trust that you are starting to learn to effectively stand up for what you need. I trust you. You will do fine in the end.

I have watched you here for a long time. And think this place has been a bit good for you. So just keep doing what you do. It will take patience, but I do think your husband will slowly come around as you keep being clear with him about a couple of things you need.

Maybe it is just because you have fallen so in love with snus. You will fight for it now. And fighting for that, I *think* is starting to make you think you should fight for other things you love or need, too.

Please keep posting your thoughts here. I is a good thing despite what a few folks may think

[Paul]

Do what makes you feel right.

[RedMacGregor]

paul, that signature you got going on is from a malware site. blows up my browser with a big warning everytime you post

[Paul]

it was from the "smoke free quitmeter"...
i've removed it now
sry

[Ozark]

it was from the "smoke free quitmeter"...
i've removed it now
sry

Thanks 8)

[Karanya]

Maybe it's just me, but the whole idea of giving your spouse an "allowance" seems insulting and inappropriate. I'd have shit a brick if my husband had suggested such a thing when he was the only one working while I was at home taking care of our daughter (when she was a baby and toddler). And I'm sure he'd shit a brick if I suggested that at any time in the last couple of years -- I'm the sole earner and he's a stay-at-home-dad.

Our money is shared as it always has been. Any non-necessity purchases over a certain amount are discussed first.

Taking care of kids -- especially if they're not in a public or private school -- is easily a full-time job, and more than that if the at-home spouse also has to do most of the housework, cooking, etc.

We actually have three bank accounts -- ours, mine and his -- but the "mine" and "his" ones are only used when one of us receives a cash Christmas or birthday gift. Luckily we're very much in-sync about money and neither of us is a big spender, so it works extremely well.

I absolutely believe he earns the money in our home just as much as I do. He makes it *possible* for me to do my job without putting the kiddo in daycare or one of the godawful public schools here (we homeschool).

--K