It has come to my attention that people have stumbled upon the plan, so I guess it's time to let it all out so that everyone will finally know the truth. I can't live with it anymore. It's too much of a burden.
In a meeting in the secret volcano lair, Eyjafjallajokull several months ago before the "eruption" (which loosely translates to World Domination Via Snus), I met with Professor Kaboom (who is actually Frederick from Northerner) and Doctor Awesome (Frank from Northerner) and Zero (who was fleeing captivity in the UK at the hands of evil snus robots) to make the next plan for massive world domination. It was decided that the remaining Level snus from around the world would be ground up to be ejected from the volcano, thus putting everyone around the world under it's spell of gross-ness and allowing us to operate behind the scenes.
But the flux capacitor which would reverse the polarity and cause the Level to eject into the atmosphere wasn't quite ready. People were also starting to catch wind of what was going on behind the scenes. There was only one choice left. Chad would have to create a massive diversion to make everyone focus on something else, thus hiding the information in plain sight about the massive world domination that was soon to come. Professor Kaboom and Doctor Awesome were in agreement, and Chad begin the diversion and was "cast into exile" to divert the attention from our master plan.
The plan was in it's final stages as Chad, Professor Kaboom, and Doctor Awesome were making plans to eject the ground Level snus into the air and begin our phase of world domination. But, there was one factor we could not have anticipated. CJ. When the ground Level snus went into the air, everyone fell under it's spell and was immensely distracted. But, CJ was not - he was supercharged by the Level9000 solution and quickly began investigating into the madness that ensued behind the scenes, and prepared to make it all public. We had a real problem on our hands. Something else had to be done.
As Chad was wondering the Cursed Earth region known as Southern Arkansas, he got a call on the Satellite phone from Professor Kaboom. CJ was catching on to what was going on, as were a few other people. Something had to be done! Chad was brought in from exile to thunderous applause as the plan behind the scenes began to go into full motion. It seemed as though the plan was going forward. But, more financing was needed to further our plans. Doctor Awesome moved forward to buy the website GetSnus.com to provide further funding for the master plan.
With the acquisition of GetSnus.com, the funding was coming in for massive worldwide domination and it seemed as though all the plans were in full motion and would soon come to a dynamic climax with lots of emotional acting, some crying scenes, a love scene with LaZeR and a Belgian prostitute, and a fight scene which was going to be REALLY awesome.
But, people begin to find out about this master plan. Which began the NEXT phase, which was assuredly way more awesome than all other phases of the plan combined and would be sure to ensure massive, worldwide, complete, total DOMINATION! .....oh crap, they're at my door! HELP M......*dial tone*
In a meeting in the secret volcano lair, Eyjafjallajokull several months ago before the "eruption" (which loosely translates to World Domination Via Snus), I met with Professor Kaboom (who is actually Frederick from Northerner) and Doctor Awesome (Frank from Northerner) and Zero (who was fleeing captivity in the UK at the hands of evil snus robots) to make the next plan for massive world domination. It was decided that the remaining Level snus from around the world would be ground up to be ejected from the volcano, thus putting everyone around the world under it's spell of gross-ness and allowing us to operate behind the scenes.
But the flux capacitor which would reverse the polarity and cause the Level to eject into the atmosphere wasn't quite ready. People were also starting to catch wind of what was going on behind the scenes. There was only one choice left. Chad would have to create a massive diversion to make everyone focus on something else, thus hiding the information in plain sight about the massive world domination that was soon to come. Professor Kaboom and Doctor Awesome were in agreement, and Chad begin the diversion and was "cast into exile" to divert the attention from our master plan.
The plan was in it's final stages as Chad, Professor Kaboom, and Doctor Awesome were making plans to eject the ground Level snus into the air and begin our phase of world domination. But, there was one factor we could not have anticipated. CJ. When the ground Level snus went into the air, everyone fell under it's spell and was immensely distracted. But, CJ was not - he was supercharged by the Level9000 solution and quickly began investigating into the madness that ensued behind the scenes, and prepared to make it all public. We had a real problem on our hands. Something else had to be done.
As Chad was wondering the Cursed Earth region known as Southern Arkansas, he got a call on the Satellite phone from Professor Kaboom. CJ was catching on to what was going on, as were a few other people. Something had to be done! Chad was brought in from exile to thunderous applause as the plan behind the scenes began to go into full motion. It seemed as though the plan was going forward. But, more financing was needed to further our plans. Doctor Awesome moved forward to buy the website GetSnus.com to provide further funding for the master plan.
With the acquisition of GetSnus.com, the funding was coming in for massive worldwide domination and it seemed as though all the plans were in full motion and would soon come to a dynamic climax with lots of emotional acting, some crying scenes, a love scene with LaZeR and a Belgian prostitute, and a fight scene which was going to be REALLY awesome.
But, people begin to find out about this master plan. Which began the NEXT phase, which was assuredly way more awesome than all other phases of the plan combined and would be sure to ensure massive, worldwide, complete, total DOMINATION! .....oh crap, they're at my door! HELP M......*dial tone*
WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!11!!!1one!!11
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