Support our troops with smokeless tobacco!

[PassedPawn]

Great! What nonsense that soldiers need to be nannied over tobacco products.

[Roo]

Well folks, August 27 came and went quite a while ago -- the date the new PACT clause took effect that now allows tobacco to ship via USPS to military addresses. Labor Day weekend on my way out of town I finally packed the boxes into my car (I do actually own one just never drive it) and went to the post office under the assumption that if mail is delivered on Saturdays, the post office must be open at least until 1. Argh. Fail. I was running late to meet my family for the annual getaway on the Oregon coast, so I put 'em in my trunk and off I went. I got back the Monday after and was pained to put the boxes that have been in my possession since Meg Ryan was still hot BACK into my freezer. By that time my girlfriend had left for Copenhagen so she wasn't there to see me use every last square inch of freezer space with this all-to-familiar snus. There it stayed all week, then I was away again last weekend.

But today, Tuesday the 14th of September, only a mere several months (lol) after receiving the incredibly generous donations of the handfull of members who read this thread, I put those three boxes into a triple-stack of kitchen garbage bags and awkwardly and perhaps somewhat dangerously held them between my knees on my 15 minute scooter ride to work. At about 2pm I thought to myself that it was about goddamn time I followed through on my promise to the contributors, to the troops, and to my guilty conscience by hauling that shit the 3 or 4 blocks to the post office! Jesus Christ, if you ever come over fordinner and ask what time it will be ready, take what time I say and add about 3 months. Sorry ladies and gents. I'm trustworthy for sure, but about as timely as a drunk sloth on methadone and xanax.

The boxes were already addressed to a certain K. Grimes in Afghanistan, so I asked the posy office lady who has previosuly denied my attempts post-PACT to verify that indeed it's legal to ship 'baccy to an APO address as onf 8/27 before I spent 10 minutes filling out customs forms. She of course had no idea, grabbed her little flier from June and said no, so I asked her to grab the other employee. She made some phone calls, looked surprised, then thanked me for teaching her somethibg new... I was feeling chatty so I explained the charitable nature of this massive tobacco shipment, and she made a snide remark about how I'm orchestrating a "cancer charity"... So of course I gave her the 20 second verion of Swedish Snus and commented that at least our gubment revised a law that prevented our country's kids from enjoying a smoke or dip from home after dodging bullets and IEDs and killing terrorists all day. I said "if you're old enough to kill Afghans in the name of US 'freedom' you should be old enough to smoke a cig or have some tobacco from home at the end of the day". Of course she could only agreen then said she would tell her son about Swedish Snus because it sounded a lot better than smoking a pack a day. 3 customs forms, 20 minutes, and $35 later I finally had the weight of letting y'all down with the absurd delays off my shoulders! It felt great for that reason, but more important was how humbled and thankful I felt for sending off approximately 30 pounds of donated tobacco to some people who could really use some nicotine therapy Hopefully a bunch of them will take to it and use it in the barracks and 6-hour Humvee drives, and maybe calm the nerves and steady the hands of some ill snipers. I paid the extra 70 cents for delivery confirmtaion, and wrote a letter to K Grimes explaining snus and the nature of this massive snus attack. I asked him to email me when he gets it.

I won't be able to report back for a while as I'm leabing Thursday morning for Paris and Malaysia and Singapore. I will gladly be out of touch until October 1st. Maybe ill sign on for a minute though and post some pics for a few of you of me and all my new jihadi, future-martyr, freedom-hating terrorist buddies from the tropical islands off the Malay peninsula Maybe I'll spit a fat wad of los onto the sidewalk next to a policeman in Singapore then Youtube myself getting publically caned. One can only hope.

Anyway, that's my long-ass post for the night, and maybe for the next couple weeks. If the typos render this message illegible that's just the beer and percocet talkin'. Y'all take care of yourselves, and by y'all I mean Mike, Blue, maybe Rick, PassedPawn, RobS, Ladysnus someday when she gets back online or back on snus, and the second-best woman in the world next to my wonderful and beautiful fiancee, my homegirl desirexe. And lxskllr because he reads EVERY thread. What up Lx. I'm sure I missed a couple donors in that list of this thread's audience, but please accept my apology and blame it squarely on the fact that I'm pretty loaded. Intoxicants be damned, I'm gonna spell check this shit. Or more likely, something will happen when I try to submit this post and I'll lose it all, with nothing to show for it but numb legs and a sore ass from writing snuson novels on the dunny. Like I said last time, if you sent snus to me and I forgot to name-drop you, do not hesitate to tell me I'm a piece of shit for shouting out to everyone but you.

Wait, what?? Just typing that gave me the kick in the ass I was hoping for: I forgot THE Baddest Mother****er in the Bay (sorry stew), my man MR SNUFFY! The living manifestation of a dream in which Chewbacca guzzles Newcastle and Jagermeister, gobbles quarter-ounces of Grov, speaks English, and is so ****ing awesome that when he knocks boots with your mom you thank him the next day and hope for a little brother in 9 months who is half as rad as his daddy. OK I'm done now, not too worried about who is reading this or gave up on it 15 minutes ago... I gotta pack for this trip. Much love to the Troops donors and everyone on snuson, and all you lurkers who I always forget are reading the stupid shit that I permanently post for the entire English-spealkng world to see. Thanks again to those of you who trusted me enough to send me several hundred dollars worth of snus and chew, and had the patience to deal with my highly advanced and carefully cultivated level of procrastination. You guys and gals are the shit. Goddamnit that was long. ~ Rooney

[Tobakssmak]

No worries Roo. I'm a master procrastinator too. Glad to hear it's on the way to the troops now though.

That's cool that the post office lady ultimately had an open mind to snus, even though she had the typical knee-jerk anti-tobacco reaction at first.

[Mr. Snuffleupagus]

LMAO Roo! Good work! Have a great trip!

[Bigblue1]

Have a great time Bud!

[Roo]

Still no reply to my request for confirmation upon receipt... not that soldiers just sit around and wait for the mail to arrive. Hopefully I hear something soon, it would be great to know that all that snus made it into good hands.

[Monkey]

Good deal!

[Monkey]

Bump!

Do we have any new troops to send another box out to? I would gladly organize and ship the next box to be sent out to a soldier serving overseas. I know post pact snus is not as cheap as it once was but I am still down for the cause.

Roo, you have been super generous in this. Thank you.

[CoderGuy]

+1

I would like to contribute as well. I have several cans of Jaks Ice Fruit I can donate.

[PassedPawn]

Got more chew waiting to go, just needs some soldiers to send them to.

[Roo]

Hey nice bump. You know what's really had me down every time I think about this thread? I haven't heard from the soldier I sent 3 boxes of your snus to. I asked him to email me when he got it. That was what, end of August? I also can't find his address anymore, otherwise I would just send him a letter. I suppose whatever happened, all that snus still made it to Afghanistan. Maybe the Taliban pilfered it and they're all sitting around reading snuson on generator-powered laptops in the mountains with fat lips, full of snus. Anyway, it was you guys, the contributors, who were exceedingly generous. Given the amount of time it took me to get that last shipment out, and the relative disappointment in not knowing for sure that it made it, I might sit this round out. And I barely have any snus for myself lol. Can't exactly donate just yet.

[Monkey]

If anyone has a tobacco using solider who is deployed and wants a box of snus sent to them, PM me and I will startthe next" Snus Attack" for the next box. I do not want to start collecting tobacco without a destination planned as my freezer is full.

I am not going to post my address publicly for the obvious internet reasons.

Just like Roo did I will upload pictures of the box going out and include my email address so we can have confirmation it was delivered.

[pipes]

When we were in the pipe tobacco business we sent a fair amount of pipe tobacco to the guys over there ! One of my guys on my bowling team spent 2 tours there and say they use a LOT a dip so I am gona get some and ship asap thanks for the reminder we were talking about this last night at bowling !