BP Morons? Maybe...

[Frosted]

THE ruptured oil pipe in the Gulf of Mexico has been capped just minutes before everyone realised it had all been their fault.



If you keep pumping it like that, something's going to break As the White House stepped up its attack on BP, experts stressed the real blame obviously lies with anyone who drives a motor car, uses medicine or wears tights.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: "Oil companies aren't pumping this stuff just so they can have it sitting around in buckets under their stairs.

"They pump it because you want it. And what's more, you don't particularly want to pay for it, thereby ensuring it gets pumped in a dangerous and haphazard way - much like a Friday night skank on a playground swing.

"So whenever you feel tempted to have a go at BP, what you should do instead is either sell your car and any objects you own which contain plastic, or shut your stupid ****ing face."

Professor Brubaker explained that oil is used in some form by virtually every human being on the planet and that even George Monbiot is currently writing one of his absurdly childish articles on a laptop computer that could not possibly exist without it.

He added: "For instance, the stockings I'm wearing today are made of synthetic polymers, an essential ingredient of which is oil very similar to the kind that is currently choking guillemots just off the coast of Louisiana.

"I should point out however that my suspender belt is pure silk. And yes, it feels fantastic against my thighs."

[sgreger1]

"They pump it because you want it. And what's more, you don't particularly want to pay for it, thereby ensuring it gets pumped in a dangerous and haphazard way - much like a Friday night skank on a playground swing.

"I should point out however that my suspender belt is pure silk. And yes, it feels fantastic against my thighs."


LOLOLOLL, that guy sounds awesome

[Bigblue1]

I thought Brubaker was a Redford film. Is this guy for real. If so I want go drinking with him.

[AtreyuKun]

Ok has anyone been watching the live feed on CNN lately? This funnel thing that's supposedly catching all this oil? I'm not buying it.
That shit is pouring out more than ever. If they're capturing any, it can't be very much. Also, has anyone noticed BP is only trying to "capture" this oil and not stop it? If they wanted to stop it, I don't think it would be that damn hard. I don't believe for a half second they really want to stop up that hole. They want to be able to continue getting the oil. If they stop it, they have to drill another hole.

[sgreger1]

Ok has anyone been watching the live feed on CNN lately? This funnel thing that's supposedly catching all this oil? I'm not buying it.
That shit is pouring out more than ever. If they're capturing any, it can't be very much. Also, has anyone noticed BP is only trying to "capture" this oil and not stop it? If they wanted to stop it, I don't think it would be that damn hard. I don't believe for a half second they really want to stop up that hole. They want to be able to continue getting the oil. If they stop it, they have to drill another hole.

They are trying to recoup the oil not stop it. Think about it Obama put a moratorium on drilling, once this is plugged up there will not be any oppertunities to dig another hole and get anything from this MASSIVE oil field. They are trying to gather what they can. They will wait untill august when the relief well is drilled out further from the shore, then they will go out there and seperate the oil from the water.


They keep saying they are getting more and more, but they also keep upping how much is coming out, what are we at like 100k barrels a day now? More? Something like na exxon valdiz every 8 days they were saying?


This is insanity. And I am starting to believe there was criminal negligence here, the day of the operation lots of werid anti-safety stuff was going on and then all of the failsafes all fail systematically. Someone cut the brakes on this speeding car.

[Frosted]

OBAMA STARTING TO SOUND LIKE A BIT OF AN ARSE

10-06-10
PRESIDENT Obama's handling of the Gulf oil spill is starting to make him come across as a bit of an arsehole, it emerged today.



Just another American

In the past week British liberals have become increasingly distressed at the president's political exploitation of anti-UK sentiment and his constant use of the world 'folks'.

And as the White House threatened legal action against BP but none of the American companies it was working with, Britons who just 18 months ago were cheering on the Obama campaign have this week found themselves quietly typing the word 'Bhopal' into Google.

Julian Cook, from Finsbury Park, said: "He's using all these phrases like 'kicking ass' and 'nickel and diming' whatever the hell that means.

"John F Kennedy would never have used the word 'ass', unless of course he was humping one for the fourth time that afternoon.

"And he keeps saying 'folks'. 'We gotta do somethin' to help those folks down there in Louisiana'. Does he mean 'people'?."

He added: "I'm sure it's not an affectation. It probably seeped into his sub-conscious when he was editor of the Harvard Law Review."

Martin Bishop, a West Wing fan from Hitchin, said: "This morning I saw a quote from Norman Tebbit - Norman Tebbit - saying that the Americans do seem to have forgotten how one of their corporations dealt with the disaster at Bhopal.

"So anyway, here's some interesting facts. The Bhopal gas leak killed an estimated 16,000 people and directly affected around 500,000. Union Carbide eventually paid out $450m in compensation. Which is an average of $900 per person. So, as you can see, they really did somethin' to help those folks down there in India."

Julian Cook said: "I'm not sure how these words are coming out of my mouth, but Barack Obama has made me agree with Norman Tebbit.

"And now you'll have to excuse me because I think my f***ing head's about to explode."

[sgreger1]

Me watching the whole BP situation being handled:

[Frosted]

LOL - a bit like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIBUWqSTp90

[LaZeR]

OBAMA STARTING TO SOUND LIKE A BIT OF AN ARSE

10-06-10
PRESIDENT Obama's handling of the Gulf oil spill is starting to make him come across as a bit of an arsehole, it emerged today.



Just another American

In the past week British liberals have become increasingly distressed at the president's political exploitation of anti-UK sentiment and his constant use of the world 'folks'.

And as the White House threatened legal action against BP but none of the American companies it was working with, Britons who just 18 months ago were cheering on the Obama campaign have this week found themselves quietly typing the word 'Bhopal' into Google.

Julian Cook, from Finsbury Park, said: "He's using all these phrases like 'kicking ass' and 'nickel and diming' whatever the hell that means.

"John F Kennedy would never have used the word 'ass', unless of course he was humping one for the fourth time that afternoon.

"And he keeps saying 'folks'. 'We gotta do somethin' to help those folks down there in Louisiana'. Does he mean 'people'?."

He added: "I'm sure it's not an affectation. It probably seeped into his sub-conscious when he was editor of the Harvard Law Review."

Martin Bishop, a West Wing fan from Hitchin, said: "This morning I saw a quote from Norman Tebbit - Norman Tebbit - saying that the Americans do seem to have forgotten how one of their corporations dealt with the disaster at Bhopal.

"So anyway, here's some interesting facts. The Bhopal gas leak killed an estimated 16,000 people and directly affected around 500,000. Union Carbide eventually paid out $450m in compensation. Which is an average of $900 per person. So, as you can see, they really did somethin' to help those folks down there in India."

Julian Cook said: "I'm not sure how these words are coming out of my mouth, but Barack Obama has made me agree with Norman Tebbit.

"And now you'll have to excuse me because I think my f***ing head's about to explode."

Good stuff there.