The Story Game

[WickedKitchen]

Either this will be fun to read or it will fail miserably...

When you post please keep it relatively clean and limited to one paragraph...pick up where the last person left off and continue the story:

John was irritated. Though the weather remained good, his plans for the day had been compromised. He had planned on meeting up with his friends for a round of golf and then dinner. How he loved those times as they made him forget the troubles of the daily grind. John's friends were looking forward to meeting him too as there were a few that hadn't seen each other in quite some time. This time John wouldn't make it due to car problems. He was driving across the state. It was the last leg of his trip but it proved to be the longest. A small knock in the engine caused John to turn up the volume on his stereo. Then that knock turned into a banging. Steam billowed out from under the hood. John cautiously pulled to the side of the road to investigate. There wasn't a sole to be seen. It was mid morning but the heat was already high. Upon opening the hood John discovered a massive crack in the radiator and it became glaringly clear that his car would go no farther. He didn't know how far from any sort of town he was as he hadn't payed much attention...just drove. Now he was on his own with no mobile phone coverage, no food, no car. He did have a liter of water and about ten bucks in his pocket. Won't get very far on this he thought. John grabbed the water and started walking...

[tom502]

As he walked from the car, his thoughts quickly began to wonder if this was indeed an accident? He then quickly remembered, and ran back to the car, he'd almost forgotten the true reason for this trip, as he removed the satchle from the trunk. Ever since he took those pictures, he had the feeling of being constantly watched. Dan, his golf buddy works at the JPL, and he wanted his opinion on these amazing photos he took. As he resumed his walk, the voices came back, louder this time, he tried to shake them off, as he hoped he could reach a phone before dark. What a way to go, if he ended up missing, along with his great find, which could shake up things quite a bit. Of course Sue would be there too, and with a Motel room booked. Oh what a maze he'd walked himself into, now with this material, and his wife at home, along with his 2 children, while he's out playing spy, and adulterer. But this was just too big to let go. As he walked what seemed forever, beads of sweat began to build on his forehead, and stange flashing lights seemed to follow him from behind the trees.

[NonServiam]

At first, he thought the flashing lights were possibly just lightning bugs, but as the orbs began to glow brighter and pulse, his heart began to pound. Not only did his heart begin to pound, but his sphincter began to tighten as he flashbacked to his last alien abduction which included an unauthorized probing of the not so discreet kind. He never could watch the movie E.T. again after that, especially since that little E.T. guy had such long and crooked fingers. But at least E.T. had a kind face, unlike that last extra terrestrial which gave him a close encounter of the terd....I mean third kind. John began to walk a little faster now as he searched frantically for an App on his I-phone which could get him out of this jam.

[sgreger1]

After hours of walking he soon found himself in a small texas town in the backwoods. Exhausted and sure his end was soon to come, he spent his last $10 on a bag of crystal meth purchased from a local hillbilly, then fashioned the water bottle containing his last liter of water into a meth bong. After exausting his meth supply, and after 3 days of not sleeping, the lights in the trees seemed to get closer and sounds could be heard in the desert with no trace of where they came from.

[sgreger1]

Suddenly John began thinking in stranger and stranger ways, possibly in an attempt to clear his mind of the voices he heard that were almost surely an alien presence trying to control him telepathicly. His mind began wandering off ona tangent. "John, John is my name, 1 out of 64 (0.61%) U.S. citizens have this name, and it is assigned to 11958 people per year by their parents, there is an estimated 3.714 million people with this name, John, and the average age of a John in the US is 46 years old. John, a funny name, there are many other types of johns: Jayhugh, Jean, Jehu, Jn, Jn'o, Jno, Jo, Jock, Johnnie, Johnny, Jon". Then a voice appeared in his mind and said "We are watching you, John"

[NonServiam]

John then realizes it is fight or flight, and begins to run. With every stride he is thinking "Man, I should have never bought these trendy gladiator sandals". He sees a farmhouse in the distance with a light on. He thought to himself "Could it be? Just like in all the books I've read. There is always a farmhouse to seek help at!" John gets a little joyful as he remembers the stories of what happens to guys that stumble on a farmhouse. A lustful romp in the hay with the farmer's virginal daughter, only to be peppered with birdshot the next morning by her Pa'. But all delusions of grandeur our soon trampled as those pulsing glowing orbs of light appear again in the distance. This time they are greater in numbers and are on every horizon. John hides behind a large oak tree hoping they will pass. Not so, they advance and close in tightening like a noose. As the lights get closer, he realizes they are flashlights and thinks to himself "Oh no, it's those Area 51 guards, they must be here for my photos". One man, merely a silhouette and clad in black asks him "Are you John, photographer John" Hoping for mercy in exchange for his honesty, John replies "Why yes, yes I am, how can I help you?" The stranger replies "I am Agent Furburger with the U.S. Census bureau". John breathes a sigh of relief. It seems John forgot to fill out that nosy and intrusive Census packet. Well he didn't really forget, he actually used it for kindling and toiletries, including each subsequent one they crammed in his mailbox popping the lids off his snus shipments.

[sgreger1]

John, still realizing it is fight or flight, realizes that his meth supply has ran out and he won't be able to evade the area 51 guards much longer. If he sleeps they will surely find him. In a fit of rage and as an act of survival he murders the census bureau employee, steals his wallet, and then fiests on his corpse while it's still fresh, under the quiet canopy of his new-found barn hideout. After finishing his meal, he quickly returned to the hillbilly meth lab to purchase another 8ball. After replenishing his supply, he quickly scurries back to the barn to partake of his survival rock.