Southern
Southern women know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity
Southern women know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The crick
Southern women know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah
Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind
Southern women know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
Football
Southern women know their cities dripping with
Southern charm:
Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna
Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler
Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Spa
The Beauty Salon
Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food
More Suthen-ism's:
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit,
and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
_____
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard
greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
_____
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long
"directly" is, as in:
"Going to town, be back drekly (directly)."
_____
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some
sugar" is not a request for the white,granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
_____
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is..
They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
_____
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the
best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad.
If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis,
they also know to add a large banana puddin'!
_____
Only Southerners grow up knowing
the difference between "right near" and
"a right far piece." They also know that
"just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
_____
Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
_____
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
_____
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used
as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
_____
Only Southerners make
friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line,"... we talk to everybody!
_____
Put 100 Southerners in a room
and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by
marriage.
_____
In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
_____
Southerners know grits
come from corn and how to eat them.
_____
Every Southerner
knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried
green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin',"
you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
_____
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened.
"Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
_____
And a true Southerner knows you don't
scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway.
You just say,"Bless her heart"... and go your own way.
_____
To those of you who are still a
little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a
dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
_____
And to those
of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern
stuff...bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on
Southernness as a second language!
_____
And for those
that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all
y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I'm
not from the South, but I got here as fast as I
could."
Southern women know men may come and
go, but friends are fahevah !
Now Shugah, send this to someone who was
raised in the South or wishes they had been!
If you're a Northern transplant, bless your little heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could.
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity
Southern women know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The crick
Southern women know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah
Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind
Southern women know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
Football
Southern women know their cities dripping with
Southern charm:
Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna
Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler
Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Spa
The Beauty Salon
Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food
More Suthen-ism's:
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit,
and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
_____
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard
greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
_____
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long
"directly" is, as in:
"Going to town, be back drekly (directly)."
_____
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some
sugar" is not a request for the white,granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
_____
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is..
They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
_____
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the
best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad.
If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis,
they also know to add a large banana puddin'!
_____
Only Southerners grow up knowing
the difference between "right near" and
"a right far piece." They also know that
"just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
_____
Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
_____
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
_____
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used
as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
_____
Only Southerners make
friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line,"... we talk to everybody!
_____
Put 100 Southerners in a room
and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by
marriage.
_____
In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
_____
Southerners know grits
come from corn and how to eat them.
_____
Every Southerner
knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried
green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin',"
you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
_____
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened.
"Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
_____
And a true Southerner knows you don't
scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway.
You just say,"Bless her heart"... and go your own way.
_____
To those of you who are still a
little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a
dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
_____
And to those
of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern
stuff...bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on
Southernness as a second language!
_____
And for those
that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all
y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I'm
not from the South, but I got here as fast as I
could."
Southern women know men may come and
go, but friends are fahevah !
Now Shugah, send this to someone who was
raised in the South or wishes they had been!
If you're a Northern transplant, bless your little heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could.
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