two puffs on a cigarette

[alopezg1]

I had two puffs on a cigarette today . I did it because when I see people smoking I still get edgy and uncomfortable and feel like I want one
even though I know they are disgusting. Well, I didn't so much as cave in just wanted the constant chattering in the back of my mind to just shut up
so I thought I would prove to my subconscious mind how terrible the things are- it seems to keep forgetting- Well it was bad. It wasn't as disgusting as the last
time I had a cigarette after using snus for a while. I had some snus in at the time so there was plenty of nicotine in my system. I did seem to get a little buzz off
the two puffs I had , but the taste was awful. Also , I felt it hit my chest instantly , a heaviness in my lungs . I have a headache now as well and my stomach hurts
I think my system is just not used to the cigarettes- I haven't had one for just over 3 months- . Well, it has just reinforced in me even more , that I really don't want to go back to living like that; having to do that to myself several times a day makes me feel unwell and just very tired. I am also very tired of these absurd games my mind is playing with me. I wish I could just look the decision and just move away from cigarettes for good , it would be so much easier and such a relief to know I don't have smoke anymore . I don't know why I can't do that though . I certainly don't feel like doing it again. I think that I am maybe trying to hard? I mean for the last 3 months I have been pretty terrified of smoking again, having panick attacks because of the fear and just generally avoiding life as much as I can. The absurd thing is though I don't want to smoke but I am still having cravings? it must be unconscious . I'll hop back on the wagon and just hope that I am learning and this all part of a process yadayadayada

[trebli]

Alopezg, this is one of the things I like about Snuson. It reminds me that everyone's experience with snus is different. Before I started reading Snuson I assumed that everyones smoking cessation adventure was just like my own. But I see each of us has a different path to reach our goals.

Hang in there. I believe snus will win in the end.

[alopezg1]

what happened with your smoking cessation?

[Andy105]

The fact that you didn't enjoy the smoke says a lot. I've been there too. It gets easier to say "No" to yourself.

[piks101]

Funny, I had 2 cigarettes yesterday in a social drinking situation, enjoyed both of them immensely and felt 98% fine upon waking this morning. Not sure when I will smoke again but I I know I will in a similar situation could be this weekend, next week or a month. I've always enjoyed the taste and feeling of smoking on a very infrequent basis what I don't like is the accumulative effect of daily smoking. My lungs are pretty much back to normal after an extended layoff but if I took two puffs like you and had all of those negative ramifications I would have zero urge with snus available.

[jtricer1973]

I still have one or 2 occasionally and unfortunately, I still don't find them disgusting. Wish I did. But obviuosly, 1 or 2 now and then isn't nearly as bad as the pack to pack and a half I smoked for 25 or so years!! I'm sure one day I'll get to the point where I won't want one anymore. What usually gets me more than anything is the smell when someone lights up around me. I definitely have less headaches and nausea since I quit.

[trebli]

what happened with your smoking cessation?

For me it was really simple - snus managed to satisfy all my cigarette cravings when no other form of NRT did. But, I now understand that not everyone has the same experience. Some snusers who stop smoking still feel as if "something is missing".

[alopezg1]

For me it was really simple - snus managed to satisfy all my cigarette cravings when no other form of NRT did. But, I now understand that not everyone has the same experience. Some snusers who stop smoking still feel as if "something is missing".

I just have all these fond memories of smoking , and miss the feeling of the first cigarette in the morning , or the feeling of having one after not having had one for a while
that buzz and feeling of instant peace and satisfaction. The strange thing is , is that now those memories don't match my experience of smoking , in that cigarettes taste like burning garbage and make me feel like garbage . I also know that feeling of satisfaction is just nicotine craving being satisfied, and I can do that in other ways which are muss less harmful and less disgusting . I think it is a case of part of my brain not realizing that reason I smoked , the reason I smoked every cigarette is that I am addicted to nicotine! It just sees cigarettes in and of themselves as something that makes me feel good and happy , when in fact the actual act of inhaling burning plant matter into you respirotary system is very unpleasant. That part of your mind though, is non verbal and instinctive and doesn't really get the fact that nicotine addiction is the reason for smoking, it just knows that cigarettes or smoking make the problem(nicotine craving) go away. So it is still panicking when it feels that has been taken away from it, when in fact it hasn't . I am still getting nicotine just in a different form . They are not physical craving as such just intense periods of depression and mental discomfort

[whalen]

Cigarettes are carefully designed to give a crack like hit of nicotine. You may be stuck in the lab rat like condition of continued jumping on the lever hoping for a fix. Snus nicotine delivery is much different and the brain knows it. You need to get past that addictive need for the big hit. I smoked my own blend of tobacco, and underwent the same empty craving even while smoking! Nicotine addiction is one of the worst, and the cig companies exploit it by manipulating the additives to promote that spike of nicotine.
My absolute best advice is to smoke only Santa Fe cigarettes when you do cave in, they will not reinforce the cycle. This will help decouple the reward response, due to the slower delivery provided by unadulterated tobacco.

[whalen]

They got their hooks in you, that feeling of self loathing is the part that usually makes us cave. Best of luck in your struggle!

[rickcharles606]

I occasionally have a cig to remind me of why I wanted to quit in the first place. It goes something like this.

1. light the cig and take first puff, and it's like "ahhhh, hello old friend, I've missed you"
2. second drag--"hmmm, this doesn't taste as good as I remember"
3. third drag--"wow, this tastes horrible"
4. fourth drag--"now I remember why I wanted to quit these"
5. fifth drag--"I should put this out, but I don't want to be rude to the person I bummed it from, but damn this sucks"
6. sixth drag--"screw it, sorry dude but I need to put this out. Where can I wash this stink off my hands?"

I do this several times a year, and it just reinforces my reasons for wanting to quit.

[alopezg1]

Cigarettes are carefully designed to give a crack like hit of nicotine. You may be stuck in the lab rat like condition of continued jumping on the lever hoping for a fix. Snus nicotine delivery is much different and the brain knows it. You need to get past that addictive need for the big hit. I smoked my own blend of tobacco, and underwent the same empty craving even while smoking! Nicotine addiction is one of the worst, and the cig companies exploit it by manipulating the additives to promote that spike of nicotine.
My absolute best advice is to smoke only Santa Fe cigarettes when you do cave in, they will not reinforce the cycle. This will help decouple the reward response, due to the slower delivery provided by unadulterated tobacco.

I don't know santa fe cigarettes, are they like the american spirit ones with no additives ? I am so tired by this struggle now i am starting feel like i want to take my own if i'm honest

[dquinn104]

You sounds alot like me after I quit smoking. Don't let that internal dialogue get the best of you. It just takes time. After 15 months (14 vaping, and this last one just snus) I finally stopped thinking about it constantly. This last week I was home on vacation and after 6 pints had a few smokes with my brother. Although I did enjoy them, I also remember what I don't enjoy about them and that list is much longer. Honestly, I'm shocked that i could have 2-3 cigarettes and wake up the next morning without any desire to go buy a pack or have any more. Just popped in a pouch and went about my day. Take it day by day and don't get too upset if you fall of the wagon, just pick yourself back up and don't think too much into it.

[alopezg1]

You sounds alot like me after I quit smoking. Don't let that internal dialogue get the best of you. It just takes time. After 15 months (14 vaping, and this last one just snus) I finally stopped thinking about it constantly. This last week I was home on vacation and after 6 pints had a few smokes with my brother. Although I did enjoy them, I also remember what I don't enjoy about them and that list is much longer. Honestly, I'm shocked that i could have 2-3 cigarettes and wake up the next morning without any desire to go buy a pack or have any more. Just popped in a pouch and went about my day. Take it day by day and don't get too upset if you fall of the wagon, just pick yourself back up and don't think too much into it.

there no way i could go on for 13 months the way I was though , i'd end up either hurting myself or someone else

[dquinn104]

there no way i could go on for 13 months the way I was though , i'd end up either hurting myself or someone else

Honestly i probably should have eased into it. I went from 2 packs a day to just vaping overnight. Not the smoothest transition. You just gotta find what works for you. I kept doing the same thing over and over again until i changed it up and went to snus. Since then ive been feeling myself again. Have you tried to mix it up at all. Nasal snuff seems to be pretty popular here to get you through a rough spot (haven't tried it myself yet, but im planning on giving it a go sometime soon). I use a pinch of Copenhagen long cut myself here and there if i need to do something while enjoying my nicotine. My only real complaint with snus is its a little boring. The spitting kinda works as a substitute for the hand to mouth habit when it bugs me.