A prayer request...

**lxskllr** · 20-05-09, 08:10 PM

I'm not the praying type, but I hope things work out for you :^)

I'm with you on the not making promises. It's best just to do your thing without committing either way. If you quit, great; If not, well maybe you will sometime. Making ultimatums just leads to disappointment over time, and after awhile you end up defeated before you start. Just enjoy life in whatever way is necessary, and let events take their natural course :^)

**sagedil** · 20-05-09, 08:39 PM

Perhaps if you did tell us some of the details of why you made that promise, we can help with some of the answers you might need to give the wife.

**HK11** · 20-05-09, 08:46 PM

What I would do is come out and tell her (after it comes in), claim weakness, ask for forgiveness and then pack a lip.

If that doesn't work you could always try guilt and tell her that everyone is always trying to keep you down and take away the few pleasures you get out of life. And then pack a lip.

**whalen** · 20-05-09, 08:56 PM

You got some splaining to do!.

**heppycat** · 20-05-09, 08:57 PM

My wife quit smoking cold turkey a month before I switched to snus. I'm sure I'll hear something when my latest order (with an Icetool!) comes in about why dont I just quit altogether. But whatever, she understands the addictive nature of tobacco

**Subtilo** · 20-05-09, 09:00 PM

There are days where my wife uses more snus than me ... :shock:

**ODurren** · 20-05-09, 09:00 PM

Sounds like you and the wifey need to do some talking further. She has concerns whether it be money, health, situational, appearence, etc that needs to be further talked about. I found that, like alot of people on this site (And I am in no way trying to be offensive because I'm in this phase) They're treating snus as a newly formed hobby rather than facing the facts that it is an addiction that in time still needs to be dealt with. Are you one of those types? Or could it be perhaps the money? Its a lot cheaper than cigarettes but ordering many at once does tend to rack up the bills. Could that be affecting it? What about situational? Does she honestly notice your addiction getting the better of you when you need one every second of the day? I can keep a pouch in for up to 2 hours but the second I take it out or realize how long its been in there I immediately replace. Does she notice how you act on and off the stuff? I can go on making assumptions but what it really boils down to is:

Obviously she has some kind of concern sounds like a comprise needs to be made. You first compromised the second the stuff was outa your freezer you were done and that pleased her. But you broke that. My opinion ya gotta man up and admit your defeat on that one.

Maybe one compromise is to only do it at work?
Many one is to switch to portions/whites?
Maybe try mini's?

As for prayin' for ya? Sorry :-D but you got yourself into that rut you gotta dig yourself out of it. But I'll give you a bit of well wishing on my part and hope she doesn't ring your neck.

**rickcharles606** · 20-05-09, 09:22 PM

Oh dude, sorry to hear about that broken promise deal, for years I was a member of Promise Breakers, have you heard about them.

They were formed by a group of smokers trying to quit making promises to our wives that we would quit smoking and then couldn't keep..LMAO

I'm pretty sure it applies to all addictions, vices or otherwise bad habits. Wives are pretty funny about this type of thing, it's a whole trust issue thing I suppose.

When I promised Amy (my wife) that I'd quit smoking (this was years ago), I honestly meant it and tried so damned hard to quit too, but of course didn't. She didn't understand.

I finally just looked at her and said, "I know I promised that I'd quit smoking *insert whatever timeframe you said*, BUT I don't think I'm strong enough to beat this addiction. I'm going to keep my promise to quit smoking/snusing, but for now I'm gonna have to push my time table back." Then when that doesn't work and you guys start really fighting, do what I did and scream at her............"I'll quit smoking when I'm good and ready, that's when I'll quit!!", and leave the room before she can comment. :lol:

Anyway, good luck bro, I sure don't envy you.

**dEFinitionofEPIC** · 20-05-09, 09:33 PM

Don't hide it. That'll just make it worse when she eventually finds out....

Just tell her-she'll get over it.

My wife HATED when I smoked--I heard about it EVERY day. She has had absolutely no problem now that I snus (probably because I don't smell like sh*t now)

Good luck...

**HK11** · 20-05-09, 09:55 PM

Originally posted by dEFinitionofEPIC

Don't hide it. That'll just make it worse when she eventually finds out....

Just tell her-she'll get over it.

My wife HATED when I smoked--I heard about it EVERY day. She has had absolutely no problem now that I snus (probably because I don't smell like sh*t now)

Good luck...

My wife likes the snus so far because I dont smell and she says Im more even. By even I guess she means I dont get all freaky without a cigarette every hour.

**thatguyjeff** · 20-05-09, 10:04 PM

I warned you that this was a long and complicated issue, but you asked, so...

I've been using some sort of tobacco product since I was 19. Was a "social" smoker back then. Stopped with the cigs when I got married. For a little over 10 years it was just the occaisional cigar, pipe, chew, or snuff (sometimes leaf chew too). Just once or twice a month...

About two years ago, I picked up cigs again (that's another long story by itself). And have been smoking about 10 cigs per day since then (and continue to do so).

Wife wasn't so concerned about the occaisional pipe/cigar use. The chew I don't think she knew about at all. Not that I kept it hidden. It was just only with certain company - camping, fishing, hunting - stuff for which she just never happened to be around.

Since the cig smoking again she's been the typical concerned wife, health, money "wasted," yadda yadda. In an effort to appease her, I've been making half hearted attempts to quit. Truth be told I have no desire to quit whatsoever. I like smoking. I like tobacco.

So probably 18 months or a year ago, I tried snusing with the idea that it might help me quit the cigs. When I started getting it in the mail and she started seeing the CC charges in Sweeden, etc. I explained that this was in an attempt to quit the cigs. She was skeptical, and rightly so as it turned out. Snus didn't help me quit and now I'm hooked on both cigs and snus.

I tried rolling/stuffing my own cigs in an attempt to save some $ and/or cut down some. Gave that up pretty quickly. Stuffing is a giant PITA. And the money was never really an issue anyway. Not that we're rich, but we can afford a few of those "sin" items now and again. She just thinks it's a waste in general.

Most recently, I tried the e-cig (again, in an attempt to quit). She saw this as another "gimmick" on my part that wasn't going to accomplish anything except be another waste of money and I would still be smoking cigs anyway. Funny, she was right. But in a sort of give-and-take effort on my part I said I wouldn't be buying any more snus (to offset the costs of the e-cig).

Yeah, so, see the pattern here?

Anyway, the e-cig was a big bust for me. And it was a big bust for her too. She's one of those brainwashed sheep that thinks all things nicotine and tobacco are equally bad and unhealthy. I've tried explaining the differences to her but she's not hearing it. Our last discussion even wound up turning into a fight, so I don't plan on bringing it up again in that regard.

Lately I've been using up all the old snus in the freezer, much of which is dried up and nasty. Early on I got some portions but liked los better. Been opening the old portions, mixing the last little bits from different tins to put together a franken-pris, and basically subjecting myself to some relatively unpleasant snusing because I was trying to keep my word and not buy any more.

I'm now down to my last of the last and I'm not seeing myself giving it up any time soon. So, I ordered a bunch more.

Did I mention our 15th aniversary is in 2 days?

Anyways, my logic is that since the e-cig isn't working for me and I won't be spending the $ on that any more, I can go back to snusing since that was the whole reason I said I wouldn't buy any more anyway.

So, my fellow snusers and wanna-be marriage counselors, what say you now?

**sagedil** · 20-05-09, 10:09 PM

I say you have to make a commitment and quit smoking entirely. It really isn't that hard with snus. If your snus isn't enough, go for the high test stuff.

But for your wife, she is just seeing the snus as just one more tobacco product. She is already a bit unhappy, and all you are doing is layering more on top of what you are already doing. So she is gonna get a little hot and bothered by it.

But....

If you can successfully quit the cigarettes, and your wife comes to see the snus as a much safer, and cleaner alternative, I doubt she would begrudge you that.

Just my $0.0023

**lxskllr** · 20-05-09, 10:23 PM

I think you need to do what makes you happy. Substitutions and "deals" are a bit disingenuous. Everybody's gonna die. Smokers, non smokers, vegetarians, and vegans. There's no way around that eventuality. You might as well enjoy your time while your here. Just make sure you're enjoying your vices. Smoke because you really want a smoke. Snus because you really want some snus. Don't do it out of habit or compulsion. Free your mind, and everything will fall into place :^)

**dEFinitionofEPIC** · 20-05-09, 10:26 PM

Originally posted by sagedil

I say you have to make a commitment and quit smoking entirely. It really isn't that hard with snus. If your snus isn't enough, go for the high test stuff.

But for your wife, she is just seeing the snus as just one more tobacco product. She is already a bit unhappy, and all you are doing is layering more on top of what you are already doing. So she is gonna get a little hot and bothered by it.

But....

If you can successfully quit the cigarettes, and your wife comes to see the snus as a much safer, and cleaner alternative, I doubt she would begrudge you that.

Just my $0.0023

I think you're right on there sage-- the "layering" probably is what's causing the biggest problem. Instead of seeing the e-cig and snus as a way to cut back on smoking she just sees them as adding to your addiction and subtracting from your pocket.

Any woman is going to get on their significant other for trying to pick up another "vice" If you make the effort and just quit smoking all together she will probably appreciate it and be more accepting of the snus as a much healthier (and cheaper) alternative...

I don't see you having too much of a problem completely quitting smoking using snus... it certainly worked for me.

A prayer request...

A prayer request...

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