I Won At The Casino! Several Contests! As promised.

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  • phantom
    Member
    • Jun 2011
    • 523

    Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn't accommodate her with an "after-hours" appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check. By the way, I have a large rotweiler inside named Killer; he won't bother you. I also have a parrot, and whatever you do, do not talk to the bird!"

    Well, sure enough the dog, Killer, totally ignored the repairman, but the whole time he was there, the parrot cursed, yelled, screamed, and about drove him nuts.

    As he was ready to leave, he couldn't resist saying, "You stupid bird, why don't you shut up!"

    To which the bird replied, "Killer, get him!"

    $19,000

    Comment

    • jagmanss
      Member
      • Jul 2010
      • 12213

      Tickle my balls and call me Chad... I got to be close...

      Comment

      • phantom
        Member
        • Jun 2011
        • 523

        Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives.

        "Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?" .

        "Well ... not exactly." his friend replied, "She's more into the trick dog aspect of it."

        "Oh, I see, kinky, huh?"

        "Well ... not exactly ... I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead. $2500.00

        Comment

        • Premium Parrots
          Super Moderators
          • Feb 2008
          • 9759

          Originally posted by jagmanss
          Tickle my balls and call me Chad... I got to be close...
          I'll let Whalen tickle your balls Chad.


          here is another hint.....

          all you have to do is figure out what numbers the Xs are $XX,X00

          another hint......

          several members have the first 2 Xs correct
          Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......





          I've been wrong lots of times.  Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.


          Comment

          • Ainkor
            Member
            • Sep 2008
            • 1144

            $1433

            A joke (Or a nightmare)

            Obama won two general elections for President of the United States.

            Comment

            • Snotgifff
              Member
              • Sep 2012
              • 517

              $28,500

              Comment

              • phantom
                Member
                • Jun 2011
                • 523

                $22,500

                Comment

                • jagmanss
                  Member
                  • Jul 2010
                  • 12213

                  Originally posted by Premium Parrots
                  I'll let Whalen tickle your balls Chad.


                  here is another hint.....

                  all you have to do is figure out what numbers the Xs are $XX,X00

                  another hint......

                  several members have the first 2 Xs correct
                  Oh! Balls! And I gotta go out....

                  Comment

                  • Snotgifff
                    Member
                    • Sep 2012
                    • 517

                    $40,200

                    Comment

                    • Snotgifff
                      Member
                      • Sep 2012
                      • 517

                      $23,500

                      Comment

                      • Snotgifff
                        Member
                        • Sep 2012
                        • 517

                        $34,500

                        Comment

                        • Snotgifff
                          Member
                          • Sep 2012
                          • 517

                          $26,500

                          Comment

                          • phantom
                            Member
                            • Jun 2011
                            • 523

                            $24,100 After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, 'You know, I was a fool when I married you.' The husband replied, 'Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice.

                            Comment

                            • phantom
                              Member
                              • Jun 2011
                              • 523

                              $24,200
                              ”How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell ‘BINGO!’”

                              Comment

                              • phantom
                                Member
                                • Jun 2011
                                • 523

                                $24,300
                                “When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car

                                Comment

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