I Won At The Casino! Several Contests! As promised.

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  • Snusdog
    Member
    • Jun 2008
    • 6752

    Originally posted by Snotgifff
    It's part of my job to type well...even when drinking. Oh and auto spell check helps.

    -$225

    What has got two legs and bleeds?


    Half a dog!

    that sh*t ain't funny


    but this is funny


    what has two legs.............. and a big ol Ban your ass for a week button?


    the other half of the dog


    When it's my time to go, I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my uncle did....... Not screaming in terror like his passengers

    Comment

    • GoVegan
      Member
      • Oct 2009
      • 5603

      Good comeback!

      Comment

      • Snotgifff
        Member
        • Sep 2012
        • 517

        Originally posted by Snusdog
        that sh*t ain't funny


        but this is funny


        what has two legs.............. and a big ol Ban your ass for a week button?


        the other half of the dog


        Aww come on dog...it was a joke! A bad one...like most of mine but that's all. I love my dogs like family...sorry if I offended brother.

        Comment

        • phantom
          Member
          • Jun 2011
          • 523

          +25000.00 Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. 'What's wrong,Bill?' she asked. 'Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?' 'Oh, Bill, you didn't ' she exclaimed. 'Yes, I did.' he replied. 'My God, Bill, what happened?' 'I got fired.''No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?' 'Oh... she got fired too.'

          Comment

          • Snusdog
            Member
            • Jun 2008
            • 6752

            Originally posted by Snotgifff
            Aww come on dog...it was a joke! A bad one...like most of mine but that's all. I love my dogs like family...sorry if I offended brother.
            No offence taken bro

            Just my lame attempt at humor

            When it's my time to go, I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my uncle did....... Not screaming in terror like his passengers

            Comment

            • Premium Parrots
              Super Moderators
              • Feb 2008
              • 9759

              Originally posted by Snusdog
              No offence taken bro

              Just my lame attempt at humor

              you do realize what we do with lame dogs here don't ya?
              Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......





              I've been wrong lots of times.  Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.


              Comment

              • Snusdog
                Member
                • Jun 2008
                • 6752

                Originally posted by Premium Parrots
                you do realize what we do with lame dogs here don't ya?
                ummm.............Nurse them back to health with bourbon..............and......... big bouncing boobies.......
                When it's my time to go, I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my uncle did....... Not screaming in terror like his passengers

                Comment

                • Snotgifff
                  Member
                  • Sep 2012
                  • 517

                  Originally posted by Snusdog
                  No offence taken bro

                  Just my lame attempt at humor

                  You know, after I read it today (sober)...I thought to myself he's probably joking cause his name is Snusdog...I need to lay off the hooch...Ya right, who am I kidding...

                  Comment

                  • Premium Parrots
                    Super Moderators
                    • Feb 2008
                    • 9759

                    Originally posted by Snotgifff
                    You know, after I read it today (sober)...I thought to myself he's probably joking cause his name is Snusdog...I need to lay off the hooch...Ya right, who am I kidding...
                    yea.....less love for the hooch and more love for the pooch.
                    Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......





                    I've been wrong lots of times.  Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.


                    Comment

                    • Faylool
                      Member
                      • Dec 2012
                      • 496

                      Sounds like my solution! I have come from one dog to six in the three years plus I have not touched a drop. Give me credit fellow snus ers. I'm 60 and it took me 6 years to get 3 plus sober! It was serious hopelessness here and I hope nobody ever has to go there. So if you love your hooch treat it with respect or it'll knock your lights out change your personality and ability to cope and insidiously ruin your life that becomes a pit to slowly crawl out of and maybe not open up again. And that's not a joke. Plus I save money too. Heh heh

                      Comment

                      • Paco
                        Member
                        • Dec 2012
                        • 396

                        +$2,000 or -$2,000 A couple returns from their honeymoon refusing to speak to each other. The groom's best friend takes him aside and asks what's wrong."Well," replies the man, "when we finished making love on the first night, I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking."
                        "Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much," says his friend. "I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough. She can't expect you to have been saving yourself all these years."
                        "That's not the problem, " the groom says. "She gave me $20 change!"

                        Comment

                        • Snotgifff
                          Member
                          • Sep 2012
                          • 517

                          +15500

                          Here's to hooch!

                          An Irish drunk staggered down the main street of the town. Somehow he managed to make it up the stairs to a cathedral and into the entrance, where he crashed from pew to pew, finally making his way to a side aisle and into a confessional. A priest had observed all this, and figured the fellow needed some help, so he entered his side of the confessional. After the priest sat there in deathly silence, he finally asked, "May I help you, my son?" "I dunno," came the drunk's voice from behind the partition. "You got any paper on your side?"

                          Comment

                          • Snotgifff
                            Member
                            • Sep 2012
                            • 517

                            Oh, and thank you Mr. Parrots! Got my prize today. : -) Been waiting a long time to try Extreme Cold, yum! Now if Mr. GN would send my prize...my broke ass would be set!

                            Comment

                            • Snotgifff
                              Member
                              • Sep 2012
                              • 517

                              -$1700
                              Barack Obama is on a sinking ship, who gets saved?



                              The Country!

                              Comment

                              • Snotgifff
                                Member
                                • Sep 2012
                                • 517

                                -$25
                                Boy: "I love you so much, I could never live without you."
                                Girl: "Is that you or the beer talking?"
                                Boy: "It's me talking to the beer."

                                Comment

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